Monday we went over a few journal entries, specifically about fighting this tenancy to act like everything is okay when it isn’t. He said, “You’re still battling that conditioning, aren’t you?” ….. sigh…..
We talked about a few interpersonal relationships. He asked if I felt the friendships are ending, I said no. There’s no reason at all to think that. These aren’t the people I used to hang with, the people who were so toxic that we never should have attempted a relationship. Those are long over. There is security with my current support group but there’s change in it too which has caused some friction. Betty always causes friction but that’s a whole different animal. Snow and I butt heads from time to time but not like her sister Betty and I do. He is not pleased with the hurt Betty has caused, neither am I but we have more than that hurt and that’s what keeps our friendship going…the fact that there’s more than just hurt.
Right now is difficult with Betty, but I’m no picnic either. I acknowledged that I’m high maintenance, not innocent in some of the friction between Betty and myself, but I am attempting to be aware of how emotional I can be. It’s frustrating to talk to Betty on an emotional level when she does not respond to emotion or even seem to understand the most basic responses. Recently she’s been argumentative, controlling, pushy and nags non-stop. That seems to be the way I experience her lately. I’ll have a whole lot of fun with that because I started another two months of physical therapy today. I’ll go twice a week for the next two months. After that I’ll finish some more dental work. By the first snow I should be…..in the same condition……….