I went to the doc today. The new diagnosis means I’m listened to, strange feeling.
I’m going to say the same thing I’ve been saying and I mean it just s much as the first time I said it. I hurt. From head to toe, I hurt.
I do not want to roll over and get out my Purple Pack of supplies that’ll help me make it through this. I feel too tired, but I’m going to do it. I’m going to let myself cry. I’m going to let myself melt into the mattress warmed by the best blanket on earth. What a God send, that electric blanket.
My illnesses are not invisible. They keep calling it an invisible illness but it’s not. If a person looked at me they’d see skin on my hands shrivel then turn blue at the finger tips. My face is flushed, eyes intense, tears intermittent. I’m trying not to hold my body clinched. I’m concentrating so as to stay loose. The more I write the more I’m determined to see this day through by getting out the Purple Pack and putting on the pain oil, putting on the compression socks for my hands and legs and lying down to warm up. The change in the weather makes pain more intense.
This photo has been seen on my site before. It’s from the My Face My Art photos I’ve done as shown on Flickr. They’re photos of art I’ve created while in pain that I then put over my face. There’s no way to separate the two, art is survival and my illnesses are not invisible.
The invisible illness becomes visible. It’s as clear as the art on my face.
(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy finally has it’s own category. Raynaud’s Syndrome has a tag. The Lupus category is still intact. I’m not changing the color of ribbon to orange, especially since my understanding is that the development of RSD is a result of the Lupus. The color for Lupus is the purple ribbon and several other things.
They say we pain patients think that tomorrow will only bring more of the same but I don’t think that. I have no idea what joy will be mixed in with my routine pain. Tomorrow will be different and it’ll be enough, it’ll be sufficient.
To people who are struggling with chronic pain ; I know, I get it. To those struggling with mental health issues; I know, I get it. Take care of yourselves, don’t forget to do that, okay?
After a tad bit of reaching out, it’s time for me to pull out my purple pack.
The topical oil I uses for burning and general pain was approved by a specialist and is categorized under medicine because essential oils in this form is medicinal. You should never, ever use medical treatments (natural or otherwise) without first speaking to your doctor who is aware of your personal medical history. The below was approved for my use.
10 drops Juniper essential oil
6 drops Rosemary essential oil
4 drops Lavender essential oil
8 oz grapeseed oil.
I purchased the Juniper and Rosemary but I make my own lavender infusion here. I add the Juniper and Rosemary to the lavender infusion which is made with grapeseed oil. These three together make a great topical nerve pain reliever. After a time using it there will be a difference in inflammation. Lavender is a cure all!!! Grapeseed oil is an incredible carrier oil and will last a good long time. I do this regularly so that I can treat the problem from the inside out, however, every step I’ve taken has been discussed with my doctor. My pharmacist and I are well acquainted.