There’s a girl I used to know, a woman actually. We were best friends for over 16 years. I’ve had several dreams about her lately and have wanted to reach out to her, but I don’t. I won’t pick up the phone to call.
I walked away from her because of the domestic violence situation that was getting really, really bad. I felt like I couldn’t watch it anymore. I felt like I was watching her get hurt repeatedly and that she wasn’t going to change the situation. At the time I walked away I was very ill and not sure if my medical situation would resolve itself. I was exhausted, still am, but I was critical back then.
Domestic violence is so complicated. I don’t have any judgement at all for her, how can I? I went back to my husband several times before finally leaving for good. Boy, he said some things that I think of now and go, I can’t believe I let him get away with that crap. I can’t believe I stayed that long. After being abused by him I did the typical thing and abused myself verbally for staying with him.
Domestic violence slowly breaks you down until there’s nothing left but nerves, skin and bones. Some of those bones are old friendships that died when they could no longer watch and wait for the next blow.