Family Portrait - Loving Leah
Family Portrait – Loving Leah A mother is only as happy as her saddest child.

Now you know I have to write about this. I saw the question posed in an entry. As a matter of fact it was the entire entry. What is a mother’s love?

My first reaction was to think I don’t know because I’ve not ever felt it but that’s not true. I do know what a mother’s love is because I’m a natural nurturer. I was a foster mother light years ago.

A mother who loves her child seeks out the best for the child. She helps provide the basic needs but she also touches softly, gives a shoulder to fall asleep on. She cleans up cuts and scrapes. She teaches life skills and leads by example. She’s prideful, strong, mild, meek, serious, playful and a thousand other personality traits that aren’t detrimental to her child. She’s not all at of it wrapped into one. She’s an individual, not a character on TV.

A mother who loves her child goes to bat for her daughters and sons. She teaches them right from wrong, disciplines to the right degree. shows them how to be a responsible person for their age. She lets them be their age.

A mother who loves her children may have a mental illness that gets in the way of providing an ideal life. She may have health issues that don’t allow her to be there for her family as much as she would like, but she is there every second she can be. This is hard because part of the time she’ll want to apologize for burdening her children with her illness and the other part she’ll want to make perfect. That’s love right there, knowing her issues touch the lives of her children but she wishes more than anything to be healthy and be there all the time.

A mother who loves her children uses her voice to build up. She’s going to mess up and yell or say things she wishes she hadn’t said. She’s going to argue, and do stupid stuff but not as a routine, not in the same way an abusive parent does. I’m talking about the normal emotions of a human being that makes mistakes. She’s going to be human and know it.

A mother’s love includes a lot of denial. She’s going to push back the difficulty of sending her children to school in this violent day and age. She’s going to push back her fear of letting her children walk to the store alone or go out on a date because something bad might happen. She’s going to let her child drive even though she fears for the child’s safety. In other words, a mother who loves wants her child to be safe from harm. She does her best to make sure they are. If a harm takes place she does everything in her power to set things right.

What have we got so far? She’s there as much as she can be within her limitations. Her desire is that her child be a productive part of society. Her desire is that her child be safe. She’d she’d cut off an arm in exchange for that child’s safety or life. She may miss the small things like cleaning up cuts but that may just be part of her personality. You can depend on her and you know it because she makes sure you have what you need. You feel safe with her, not up tight, not worried about what to say or not say, not worried about what type of mood she’s in. She’ll have her own personality and her own problems. She’s a provider and a leader to the best of her natural ability. When she’s there you have a the feeling that everything is okay, without a word you know everything is okay. That’s how you know your mother or father loves you, the atmosphere they create, their deeds, the entire picture says they love you.


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One thought on “What is a mother’s love?

  1. BEAUTFULLY put. My mother was abused by her mother, but she never passed it on. She could have written this post – although she never fostered.

    It was with great sorrow that I read that your own mother couldn’t extend love to you – and horrified to even think that you were abused. Mothers may *feel* whatever they think of as love, but as I always say, love is a VERB (and there is no room for abuse in that vibration).

    edited for links

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