I can’t remember the last time I slept so long, still I crumple my hand over my face with high anxiety. I keep cupping my mouth and nose with my hands teepee-style. My eyes dart around the room as if I’m looking for somewhere to go, yet I feel better than I have in days.

My shoulders tingle with anxiety and pain. I place my hand open palm on the center of my chest and rock. I can feel tears want to come, but they don’t. I feel wild. I feel better than I have in days, yet everything I just described I’ve done since I started trying to write this entry, who knows how long ago.

I turn my head to the left as if something will be there to fall into. I just stare. I all but stare a hole in the screen typing out a few words to say, I didn’t accomplish everything I needed to get done, but this week end wasn’t a total waste. I finished the Hope Cat, photographed her, cut the image into four detailed pieces then posted her on Etsy. She’s got a little tail and everything. There was so much more work to be done but I’ll accept the cat and be happy that I got restorative sleep. I slept. I really slept.

Monday starts again with doctor madness but that’s hours from now. I still have hours left of this day to let my head settle. I’m ok. I’ll be okay.


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2 thoughts on “Sleep. Accomplishments.

  1. I’m glad you slept, but you don’t sound well. I’m concerned about you. Please hang in there and be safe in the hours before “doctor madness.” May it be “comfort and support” rather than madness.

  2. No. I’m not well… by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m better than I was. I’ve got my support system to lean on and I do. I’m going to sleep. I see my psychologist tomorrow.
    It’s going to be a very long day. I leave at 12 noon and don’t get home until as late as 3:30 or 4 pm. That’s a very long day when you’re walking a thin line.

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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