I can guess at why I’m in and out of my head right now with a lot of dissociation going on. There’s a lot going on in therapy, a lot of anxiety and a few days of high pain. I want to get around to read other blogs but it doesn’t happen. I start off doing one task then end up doing something completely different only to realize I left the other project sitting. I feel like I’m floating but I also feel very guarded, weary of being hurt emotionally so I want to keep emotional distance. I can almost see the wall between me and others.
I have to remember that despite jumping from task to task, I am still productive. I reminded myself of this a few minutes ago. Before this sentence I got up to turn on the heat which lead to me in the kitchen to warm up dinner. I would rather be more organized in thought and behavior. I would rather not drift about but, I should not dismiss the fact that I am functioning; fragmented but functioning.
I’m still drawing, still sketching but I haven’t scanned art yet. Jane is doing well and is back to her normal self. All the frogs are good, one shrimp got eaten in the firebelly toad tank. I’m going to take advantage of the dollar per gallon sale at Petco April 2nd, 2007 and upgrade the firebelly toad enclosure. At Petsmart one of the employees told me about an African snail that needs a home. I said no. That was hard!