I’m still awake, a bit nervous and going back and forth between wanting to isolate and feeling nervous. I’ve got YouTube playing as well as music on the ipod and a game on the tablet. It’s as if there’s so much anxiety I don’t know what to do with it. I’m running emotionally.
I set up the new frog tank and listened to the Waterfall which sounded so peaceful. I considered laying down to relax and listen but I was afraid to let go.
I had a dream that my mother drove a car with my sister in the passenger’s seat while I hung outside of the car enjoying the breeze. At one point I told my mother I wanted in the car but she refused to let me in. She sped up then turned a corner and slammed into a red car. In slow motion I saw my mother and sister sustain injuries they could not survive. I was thrown beyond the wreckage where I was in and out of consciousness. On a rescue gurney I asked about my family. They wouldn’t answer. I was in and out of consciousness and realized I was dying. I knew better than to look at my body. I figured I was messed up pretty badly. I closed my eyes and slipped away.
In another dream the same night, I was a kitten in a feral community. My momma took me to an abandoned house where another cat brought her young kitten. The kitten curled up next to me to sleep. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.