It wasn’t quite like the movie Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome because Tina Turner didn’t show up fierce or sing that awesome song, but it was a wasteland full of mad men. Follow up comments explain why this is typical of how my dreams take me in this direction.

Dream Content: Cannibalism, dismemberment, skinned alive, child predator murdered

In the dream I was in a place that felt like a modern day devastated city that never grew another tree or flower from the point of devastation forward. Trees and flowers that survived never grew another inch, nor did they die. The place I lived was like a large outdoor prison setting with bunk beds and other housing made of fallen trees and scraps of metal. It wasn’t a prison, it was a psychiatric ward. I was sent there for the death of three children; me, my sister and my brother.

The psychiatric compound housed people who were cannibals, murderers and social throwaways. We were pit against one another for the pleasure of the guards. We endured our own issues and battled the issues of others. Still, some of us were able to grow close to one another in confidence. I had two friends, both cannibals, both sent to the compound for eating large parts of their own flesh. I remember thinking how hard it must have been to fight those thoughts. They knew it wasn’t normal yet they had to do it and others were well aware of what they’d done. That wasn’t a life I ever wanted.

As the two friends and I spoke, a woman and her friend drew on the larger woman’s leg with a razor then removed the skin down to the muscle with precision. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t screaming or bleeding more than she was. It was horrific, but the one cutting was enthralled and concentrated on the pre-drawn razor lines.

Daily life meant seeing such things and hearing the stories of how to avoid child predators so as not to be in their company when they’re killed. A new one arrived at the hospital and was dead before the guard left. I was shocked and said, “He’s dead!” The guard pat my bunk and said, “He’s alright.” I said, “No, he’s not. He’d dead!” The guard said, “I didn’t see anything.” … Don’t get me wrong, I’m okay with them being wiped off the earth, but I was shocked at how quickly he was dealt with. …..That guard was the last time an official came to the compound. We were abandoned to survive each other.

One day a woman came running up the street yelling that a cannibal made it to our compound. The man was completely insane. He embodied everything you fear in a crazed killer. The elderly and mentally incapacitated were targeted first. They were cut to pieces while still alive. He killed day after day, after day. No one tried to stop the killer; they let him take people who couldn’t fight him off.

That’s all I remember

Comments: I woke up with my heart racing. I took some Passion Flower tincture and went back to sleep. I feel very afraid of this dream. It was quite visual and emotional from beginning to end. I am pained by the reason I was there and horrified to have been abandoned with vulnerable people who were picked off by a sane man no one attempted to stop. It was home life with my mother which often shows up in my dreams. No authority figure was coming to help us. We survived the best we could and we lived with the knowledge that she was all powerful and there was nothing we could do about it, not a thing. I need to remind myself that I was never responsible for the lives of my siblings. Their emotional torture and the death of their innocence is blood on my mother’s hands, not mine. I’m sorry for it though. Guilt and powerlessness shows its face in my dreams once again.

4:00pm EST April 11, 2017

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