I have slept hard and well. I can’t complain at all about the quality of sleep I’ve had lately, not even a little.
I went to the store yesterday and came back home with zero energy. I slept from 5 pm to 10 pm which meant my hours were turned around. I used the time for studying and to get some house work done. As the night went on, I wanted to rest but I felt weighed down with anxiety. Several nights in a row I’ve held my MP3 player like a well worn teddy bear. I listened to podcast subscriptions and books. I could have hooked it up to speakers but I needed it close to me. I needed a human voice as comfort so I could relax enough to close my eyes.
I used to require a lot of silence but I can barely stand in now, especially at night.
Sometimes when I wake the iPod is still playing. It makes me smile. I guess because I was able to hear something positive the entire evening, something to fight nightmares. The iPod is a generation 4 that I got second hand. I love that thing. I can’t run most applications. I can no longer open a page on the web and keep it open, it but I can get the most important things, music and podcasts. This little machine has served me well.
Tonight’s dinner was bbq chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes. I later had my 6 oz of red wine. I’ve done better about my eating but improvement in that area still comes in waves.
I’m going to start to settle in for the night with a nice cup of tea.