I’m just thinking badly but I’m enjoying it way too much.

Thursday my landlord is going to show up. I don’t want the cow here but I’m not able to get out of it. She’s coming to fill a minor maintenance issue. Despite her telling me that changing my ceiling light bulbs isn’t her job, she’s till coming with the new maintenance man to replace the bulbs. She noted the bulbs were out way, way back in May of this year when she was busy trying to have me evicted. So, she’s coming with the new guy so she can gossip to me about how she had to fire the old guy.

Doesn’t she get tired of tearing down everything her hands touch?

I figured maybe a little passive aggression is in order for her visit. I should start out with very, very strong incense and a nice display of the little plastic skeletons that she finds unnerving. Of course I’m not going to do it but it was fun to think about. Anyway, once the skeletons were in clear view I’d go stereotype on her. She isn’t fond of ‘Mexicans’ or ‘Arabs’, or common sense which means I’d have to play that Arab soundtrack that’s in every US military movie while eating a burrito and drinking a bottle of Corona. Skip the Corona. I’m going ghetto. I’ll have a 40 ounce of malt liqua’, Colt 45. I have to represent the black stereotype. I’d have to go stereotype on her stupid self because being a stupid racist, she wouldn’t recognize anything else. …

I also considered reading the Bible out loud and then throwing a plastic skeleton by her feet. I could only hope to have a hot flash during my preaching fit. It would be more dramatic that way. Just picture a big black woman in a long fiesta skirt with a white blouse reading the Bible loudly, sweating hard. ….I can’t believe I don’t have a tambourine! What kinda Bible thumper am I?….Anyway, it would be a sight and a deterrent. Don’t come back!

I’m going to regret this entry. I just know it.

I no longer have a ‘Welcome’ sign on my door because people took it literally.

I had a nice sign with sunflowers and lavender branches. I didn’t know people were going to take it literally though. Not everyone is welcome here. If you’re stupid, don’t show up at my door. Racist, bigoted, hateful, selfish, argumentative, narcissistic, you’re not welcome here.  But see, putting that sentence under my welcome sign took away from its sunny, warm message. I took the sign down and left my door naked and cold. Fewer stupid people come here but my door suffers for it.

Since her heart and mind are ‘ate up’ by hatred, she can’t be anything but a walking bag of flesh which means I’ll have to be a responsible adult. Dang it! Her moral code has been disabled. Her true potential has been locked under a heart neglected of light. She only breathes out fumes, never taking in a peaceful breath. That’s a sad way to live but thinking of passive aggressive ways to keep people like that at bay is rather entertaining.

I so have to get a tambourine.


Related Posts

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

%d bloggers like this: