I’m anxious and keep running from myself.
Jane is having a much better day. She ate twice and kept it down. I’ve held her twice and carried her around once as she laid on my shoulder. I’ve moved my laptop and a few handy art supplies out here to the living room where Janie has been staying. This way we can spend a little more time together.
I’ve eaten one sandwich in the last 24 hours. Despite the hour I’m going to log off and eat a salad.
My head is full. I think of what’s happening and suddenly I can’t breathe so I throw the subject out of my head and start cleaning. I’ve cleaned obsessively and at times with such energy that I hit my hand on things because I over shot the distance with force. I’m to the point of washing my walls….I’m climbing the walls with this anxiety. I’m back to my tea, full force. I had a nice Moroccan tea today. Very good. I’ll have a small tea party next Friday. We’re going international and tasting a few things such as Lebanese iced tea and a fruit tea made of red pears and fresh pomegranate. I haven’t figured out what we’re going to eat. It’ll need to be light, nothing too complex. One of the people coming has only been here once, briefly. She’s not been here for tea.
Tonight I will switch from ginger and turmeric tea to passion flower tea so I can calm down a bit. The little gathering couldn’t have come at a better time. We’re going to put together tea samplers for a few people. It’s nothing exotic, just tea to friends. We’re putting together care packages of soothing goodness. Sending tea is like sending a hug to say I care. 🙂