I’m anxious and keep running from myself.

Jane is having a much better day. She ate twice and kept it down. I’ve held her twice and carried her around once as she laid on my shoulder. I’ve moved my laptop and a few handy art supplies out here to the living room where Janie has been staying. This way we can spend a little more time together.

I’ve eaten one sandwich in the last 24 hours. Despite the hour I’m going to log off and eat a salad.

My head is full. I think of what’s happening and suddenly I can’t breathe so I throw the subject out of my head and start cleaning. I’ve cleaned obsessively and at times with such energy that I hit my hand on things because I over shot the distance with force. I’m to the point of washing my walls….I’m climbing the walls with this anxiety. I’m back to my tea, full force. I had a nice Moroccan tea today. Very good. I’ll have a small tea party next Friday. We’re going international and tasting a few things such as Lebanese iced tea and a fruit tea made of red pears and fresh pomegranate. I haven’t figured out what we’re going to eat. It’ll need to be light, nothing too complex. One of the people coming has only been here once, briefly. She’s not been here for tea.

Tonight I will switch from ginger and turmeric tea to passion flower tea so I can calm down a bit. The little gathering couldn’t have come at a better time. We’re going to put together tea samplers for a few people. It’s nothing exotic, just tea to friends. We’re putting together care packages of soothing goodness. Sending tea is like sending a hug to say I care.  🙂


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3 thoughts on “Overload. Finding Tea.

  1. Your anxiety really comes through in this post but I do admire how you are always willing to take steps to do what you can to care for yourself. I’m still learning to do that myself.

    My granddaughter, Anna, is really into tea. She likes all kinds of flavors. I’m thinking of getting her a nice collection for Christmas. I’m glad you have people coming over to help you sample the different teas, it sounds like just what you need.

  2. They’re not helping me sample, they’re coming over to dink tea and eat finger foods as we chat about nothing at all. 🙂 I used to have tea parites all the time but i wasn’t able to during the summer because I wasn’t feeling well.

    The bulk section of the health food store is a good place to buy tea. It’s cheaper and they have a greater variety. Buying it by the box can be expensive but in the bulk section you can change up amounts and your money will go further. They usually have a list of their teas. You could also go to Kroger and purchase their $2 Special Selection teas and make a very nice size tea collection with some pretty good teas. I like Special Selection. They’ve got a good Earl Grey if you ask me. Does she have a special mug yet? I broke mine a year or so ago. I’m still grieving it. I haven’t found another mug I can bond to.

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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