I’m to the point where I feel like this is all surreal. I’m on the emotional brink, just exhausted. I’m maxed emotionally and physically. Jane goes back to the vet for a scheduled visit. I have to break it to the vet that I missed several critical days of  one of her medications because I administered it incorrectly.  I have one more dental visit on Tuesday then services Thursday. I’ve studied in between issues with Jane while camping out in the living room. I’ve done my daily cervical traction and other stretches but my right shoulder is giving me the blues. Honestly, I’d love to get outside for a walk, leave this apartment and clear my head in fresh air. There are some choice moss patches I need to visit. Need is a strong word but, when is getting more moss less than a need? Moss is wonderful. Terrariums are wonderful. Moss is a need. 

You know what I don’t need? I don’t need physical excretion such as what happened about 2:30 ish this morning. My second bottle of homemade wine blew up. I fully expected the police to be called. When they weren’t I thought, dang, I could be dead in here and no one would call for help. What on earth? It sounded like a shot gun blast. The pressure was too strong and blam!

I know some neighborhoods can be ‘difficult’ but its not normal to hear gun shots or powerful blasts like that over here. We’re more of a fireworks kind of community. Each evening after the various groups play soccer on the field, there are fireworks then lighted lantern kites.  This isn’t a shot gun blast area so why didn’t anyone respond. Honestly, I was worried the police would be called and I’d be caught being black at home. I didn’t want to get shot in my own home over some spilled wine. 

Anyway, the loss of ingredients is only part of the upset. I’m cleaning up this huge mess. Fortunately I loosely wrapped layered newspaper around the jug then put it inside of a trash bag and tied the bag closed very loosely. When it blew up, the glass was primarily contained inside the bag. It could have been a lot worse wine on the ceiling and such. This way its just under the fridge and stove and on the counters….sigh…..As I see it. I got off easy. No wine on the ceiling. The red wine jug is still in tact. I’ll try again next month with a plastic fermenter as well as a stopper and airlock. Wine making speaks to the culinary girl in me.

Anyway, the physical excretion to clean that up was more than I had to offer. It put me over the edge emotionally which lead to some less than healthy coping skills. This whole ordeal has been physically taxing. I feel bad mentioning my physical health with the state Mary Jane is in, but it’s not like it gets easier or goes away because other life stress pops up. Lupus doesn’t take a back seat to anything.

I want to try to keep writing so I can release some of this stuff in my head. I’m going to keep working in my sketchbook as much as possible and I’m going to hold Mary Jane whenever she’s up to it.

It’s Monday and this week is about to take off and not stop until the week end. I have to venture down the stairs and go look at the moss patches. I need some moss in my life right now. As I said before, no matter what happens with Mary Jane, I’m going to do a dedicated hanging, sphere terrarium. These can be purchased for a dollar or a little more at Hobby Lobby. It’ll be glass but since it won’t be used to ferment wine, it probably won’t end up in a million pieces. I used to make these all the time and really enjoy them.

After my phone session its to the moss patch I roam.


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