My own reaction to first hearing about Kevin Spacey was skepticism. I immediately gave him the benefit of the doubt. Why? I did so because I’ve seen his face. I’ve seen his work and I liked him. He looks harmless. I even became defensive when they called him a predator. I thought they convicted him in the media without proof. Then I saw that House of Cards cancelled and I thought, hang on guys, how can you cancel a show based on one accusation? It took a minute, just one, to realize that Hollywood didn’t leave behind a successful, money making show based on one accusation 20 yrs ago. It stands to reason they knew a fall out was to come. It would appear that Kevin Spacey is in fact a known predator of young boys.
I’ve watched this Hollywood #MeToo situation unfold and find myself disgusted because the predators they are now bringing beyond Hollywood lights have been allowed to hunt and hurt for years. Why were they allowed to hurt others with a hush-hush? Money. Power. Position. People knew about Bill Cosby. They knew about Weinstein. They’ve known about Woody Allen and they knew about Spacey. They knew but we didn’t.
I would say that some actors may have needed an opening to speak. They may not have had the courage to speak up. Others were flat out cowards who knew what was going on but did nothing. I think of Roseann Barr and how she said it was well known that Bill Cosby is a predator. If so, why didn’t Barr and others go to the authorities? Why did she and others wait until it was convenient to call him out and convenient to support the claims of all those women?
Lets get back to how easily I stopped believing victims just because I like the actor. I’m a survivor. This blog is primarily about surviving abuse from my mother, her family and family friends. I have made the heart stopping statement that this body of mine was raped at age three until the age of nineteen. I know what it means to be afraid, brainwashed and to be silenced. I know what it means to feel humiliated and disbelieved, so why did I immediately question the legitimacy of this young man’s story? It’s simple and disturbing. I identify with the actor accused. But a predator can be a familiar face and even those of us who are survivors can fall to disbelief and skepticism. It is my hope that people will use their ability to reason on facts and let that reason override familiarity and a kind face.
This entire situation has become a circus side show, a typical Hollywood production. That being the case, I wish to remove my name from the #MeToo voice. I feel it has lost its power and is does not help survivors, but may in fact be harmful to their truth. Hollywood is at it again, they’re putting on a show. How dare Hollywood begin a shout of healing when for decades they harbored and facilitated abusers? No, I want no part of the #MeToo side show.