We talked about how there’s no reason on earth I shouldn’t trust that I get to keep Sir Clyde for a very long time. We discussed anxiety and grief concerning Mary Jane and some guilt that I have another pet so early after her passing. It feels like I tried to replace her but as I’ve said (I just have to always remember it) Mary Jane helped me be able to give even more love to the next four-legged friend in this house. Clyde is here now and I look forward to spending a very long time with him.
A few pieces of anxiety artwork.
We talked about how I became so frustrated with someone who kept giving me way too much information when all I needed was a simple answer. My head was swimming in information that just confused me. Processing words seems complicated at times. The words stop 5 inches from my face and mean nothing to me. I get frustrated and shut down.
We talked in therapy today about seeing the medical doctor tomorrow. I told Dr. D that I’ve kept to my health goals and life upgrades such as not eating ice cream anymore, losing weight and getting myself physically healthy enough to get a dog. I’ve kept my word on all of it. The next thing in my life upgrade is to drastically decrease the amount of 7up I put in this body of mine. I now know how to make homemade ginger beer which has less sugar than store bought. I now know how to make my own homemade sodas which have less sugar in them. Breads I put in my body are made here which means I eat less white flour than before. I call these life upgrades because they make my life better and are enjoyable. The homemade wine is a financial move and isn’t considered a life upgrade.
Since Clyde has been here I’ve walked 3 blocks one way and three blocks back each day. I take him outside to use the restroom 4 times a day which means going down the stairs that many times. Twice a day we have a walk but only once do I travel the 3 blocks up and back. Walking is a great anxiety relief for me.
This is just before Clyde killed the tennis ball while we were at the park this afternoon.We talked about my schedule being very tight with school and volunteer work but that I love it. I’ve got a vow to pay which will include letter writing to a new group of elderly individuals and some with an autoimmune disorder. I’ve got a partner I’ve worked with before who will assist in greeting card making and for a one day dinner delivered by her and her husband to the group of individuals. The day for the dinner hasn’t been set but we want to do it during the winter months when people have the winter blues and are really feeling the weight of their four walls. I’ll do this in addition to my regular volunteer work. So yeah, time is kinda tight at the moment. I can’t complain though.