Today was another day where I had spasms. The pain gets so bad it frightens me. I want to run from it.
There’s loneliness with pain. I’m not sure why but it’s a lonely feeling to be in pain like that. It’s even more odd when it’s over and I’m out walking the dog as if nothing happened. It’s strange. I mean, I slept hard after it but when I woke I got up and walked the dog as if I hadn’t, hours before, gotten too close to crossing the line between sane and insane. I feel like I’ll lose my mind.
I asked Clyde to ‘come up’. I pat my legs and he comes right up and lays on them with most of his body. I’ve never seen anything like it, a dog that wants to all but tree hug my legs and sleep that way. He snores like a grown man, it’s hilarious!!!
Clyde is a nervous dog, full of anxiety. He’s afraid of all kinds of stuff so I’ve started doing dog massage in the evenings as well as daily brushings. He absolutely requires Prozac to calm his anxiety but the massage and physical contact is said to help, too. He does so much for me, this is the least I can do for him. We make a good team.