There’s something about having another living thing making noise that helps me feel less alone. Skip to 20 seconds for the start. His big performance is at 55 seconds. This is what Clyde does while doing his service dog duties of laying on my legs to help with the pain. He falls asleep and snores. Gotta love it.

There was one night when he snored so loudly that he woke me. I was groggy from medication and not clear who was snoring. I had to talk to myself to bring me back to 2017 where I do not sleep in a room with my sister. Usually his snoring doesn’t trigger it, it makes me feel safe but some of the content of my therapy session concerning abuse got mixed up in current reality and grog.

Last night I had a dream about Mary Jane. In the dream she wasted away in my arms and died. In real life she lost weight fast and got so skinny, it scared me how fast it happened.

In the dream she spoke to me. I thought it was fever fueled gibberish so I tried to calm and quiet her. I tried massage and petting her but I wasn’t able to get her to be quiet. It wasn’t until she stopped talking that I realized what was being said, then she died in my arms.


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