Moving forward with ambivalence – I will be different.

2016 was bad, 2017 was worse and 2018 isn’t looking that great either. Don’t make me act like this is all going to be pretty ’cause it’s not. However, no matter what the world does I will focus on my goals and remember who I am as a person. This is all I can do for the world. I can’t fix your problems. I can’t fix your governments or your wars. I can’t fix your racial and religious divides, but I can focus on being the opposite of all I see wrong with the world. I will be different from what I see in the world.

In 2018 I will not accept the hateful news as my truth. I will not laugh at jokes that include hate speech or be so overwhelmed by the world’s problems that I fall into apathy or complacency. I will be attentive. I will be active. 

In 2018 I will continue to work for my community with the vulnerable parts of society. For this reason I look forward to and welcome the new year. I’m excited about the projects that are planned. I’m excited about my level of involvement with some of the elderly people who have Lupus or Fibromyalgia. This will be emotional work, but it’ll be very rewarding.

I’ve also got a few creative goals in mind, some I’ve narrowed down and some that are still up in the air. One goal that is cemented is that 2018 is the year of finishing. I’m going to work on finishing some of the many art pieces that sit here just a few strokes away from completion. The reason they are incomplete is due to lack of confidence which means 2018 will see a surge in confidence and courage work in therapy. It appears I still struggle with self confidence so that definitely is something that needs to be looked at.

I want very much to say that 2018 will be a year of positivity but for that I’ll have to scrape for it. I’ll have to look for pebbles and accept positivity where I can find it. The truth is, there’s an Abuser in Chief who wants to wipe three countries off the face of the earth. There are other countries who hate one another and individuals who hate one another. That’s a lot of hate to combat, but it is my sincere goal to do just that! It is my sincere goal to be different than the people I see on the news, to be different from those I read about who would dare take a life, abuse, neglect or otherwise treat another human being with complete disregard for decency. So, I will strive to listen, to talk, to reach out and to walk with grace and decency. This is my main goal in the new year, to offer grace and decency to every individual with whom I come in contact regardless of what they come to me with. There are so, so many stupid, stupid people who are dead inside that will make this hard. There are too many minions to count, too many callous individuals, all who may try to trip up my goals, but I’m going to give it my all.

2018 – here it comes……..

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