Anxiety is very high as are my pain levels. I’ve got an open sore on my leg that hasn’t healed in three weeks times so I have to get more treatment for it. That doesn’t worry me though maybe it should. It’s just that I’ve not been given any kind of off colored diagnosis so I’m like, it is what it is. I have Lupus, I don’t heal well. It takes weeks to heal a simple wound. It would be nice if it didn’t hurt so much but like I said, at this point it’s just taking its own sweet time healing and hasn’t morphed into something else.
Anxiety and sleep – I’ve set up an old iPod 4 to watch movies as I try to relax and sleep. I’ve got 6 or 7 movies on a loop that play until I turn them off. Having a positive voice heard helps me relax. I don’t feel so alone. One of the worst things is to be in pain and alone or depressed and alone. Alone means the negative messages have all the air time they can steal and play that litany of cruelty. You’re this. You’re that! I play the video loop and it helps drown out negativity in my brain. I go to sleep to the videos and they play all night.
Tea – I’ve been sipping to the tune of 4 to 5 cups a day again. I sip all day. It’s soothing and keeps me involved in my interest of traveling the world one cup of tea at a time. I drink different teas and think about the folklore that goes with the tea. I’ve been to 51 countries by tea cup so far, and have over 40 countries of tea here at home. I try to taste the ‘thing’ its known for, try to really enjoy the experience. My tea spot.
Sketching – I’m back to sketching. It’s nothing significant, except the act of sketching itself. I’m back to doing the things that stimulate me and have my interest.
A quick dinner was eaten and the rest of the evening has to go to doll making. I’ve got a schedule to keep. I feel like I’m behind by a few hours today but I’ll catch up soon. The kettle is on, the tea has been chosen, biscuits are out and the doll is ready for work.
I’m tired. I’m anxious, but I’m better. I’ll ask for nothing more.