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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Lupus and Heroin

I stay seconds from tears. I can laugh and engage but it feels like tears are just behind my eyes waiting to escape. Today I listened to a set of symposiums on courage and just balled my eyes out. I do not feel courageous, I feel broken. I feel like I’ve got a lot to […]

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Anxiety Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Get Going

Tonight was services. I knew I wanted to go but I felt so … less than. I looked at my hair, stroked it back and thought, this mop looks horrible. I can’t go like this. I guess I could put it in a pony tail. I dragged my hands over my skirt and blouse and […]

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I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Gratitude Expressions 8/26/18

I am, first and foremost, grateful for life itself! I’m grateful for each breath, even when it’s labored, even when it hurts. I’m grateful to be alive. I’m about to be 47 years old at the end of this month. I can say I’ve earned each gray hair on my head which is why I […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy The People Behind My Eyes

Here at Last

I’m finally here. It’s been a very long time but I’m finally in my own place. What a relief! I love it too. It’s very different from any place I’ve ever lived bc I’ve never lived in an efficiency / studio apartment. This is about 500 square feet so it’s not that terribly small. There’s […]

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Art Art therapy Experimental design Expressionsim Mixed Media Originals Paper Sketchbook diary Sunflowers Surreal Visionary

Journal Work in Progress

Journaling until I’m blue in the face. Work in progress. “Someone Else” in watercolor and acrylic. All work shown is on 8.5 x 5.5 paper. “Froggie Smiles”.  These are photographs. I’m looking forward to scanning so these look right. This is much darker than the actual painting. I’m working on the details of all these […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Move

Saturday at 2pm I’ll move to the new place. I’m excited but I won’t have the internet for a few days. In the few days off line I hope to set up my art table and supplies. I need to see my belongings again. It’ll mean a lot to see my stuff. It’s hard to […]

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Acrylic on Paper Art Art therapy Black Children Children Chronic Pain Faces Flowers Lupus Mixed Media Originals Paintings PTSD Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Three Birds

Fifteen days total but halfway through I began to lose myself to the constant and extreme pain. My medication cocktail sometimes caused me to see dragons and aliens. I’d been in intensive care for the bilateral pulmonary embolism and life threatening blood clots. I was about to begin a chapter of life I’ll never forget, […]

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Art Art therapy Lupus Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Saturday is moving day

I got the apartment and move in Saturday! I already have the keys and lease. I’m excited and a bit nervous, mostly excited. I have to figure out how to fit my stuff in this place. One thing I know is I’ll have a 55 gallon aquarium in there! Somehow, some way, that aquarium WILL […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Raynaud’s Syndrome or something else?

My toes were so cold I wanted to get under the blanket, better yet I could warm imaginary toes beside and imaginary heater and get better results. I experienced, for the first time, this phantom pain they talked about. It’s where you can feel the limb that was removed. One man said he could feel […]