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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Going in the hospital

The problem with going to the hospital is that I was just there! I mean seriously, are they keeping a room open just for me now?

Yeah, I’m delaying. I’m trying to enjoy a few more moments outside the hospital. I just want a little more time b4 needles, prodding and more medications. It’s been months since someone asked that intrusive question, “When is the last time your bowels moved?” Every dang day they asked me that. I know I was on some serious pain killers that could shut down my bowel, but the question is intrusive. There is no such thing as privacy in the hospital. No quiet. Just sickness. Depressing.

My left leg is very painful. I try to ignore it and do other things. My breathing isn’t normal. All I can do is shake my head.

Here we go again. That’s what I keep thinking, here we go again! I don’t want to.

Tomorrow I see Dr D in his office. I want to see him b4 I go in just in case I’m in for more than a few days.

I worry about losing my pets again.

I’m discouraged.

I’ll have my phone with me.

Faith

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