I’m sensitive. I’m raw.
I’m hurting because of the situation with the old CNA and all that happened the day I had to fire her. The pain of that day influenced how I responded to the new CNA today. I almost didn’t allow her back based on pain caused by a different CNA relationship. I fear I’ll get comfortable then have a huge surprise, again.
I’m bruised and cautious.
Dr D is a bit exasperated about the situation, too. He suggested I set firm boundaries and keep them. I said that’s hard to do but I try. I can’t tell you the type of people that come through here. It’s hard to keep boundaries with them. I’m trying but it’s hard. They’re off their rockers. Seriously, these are not normal situations that pop up. It seems like I get mentally ill people, crazy people and hoodlums. The mix is insane and hard to control! Dr D was all irritated which triggered me because I feel responsible for the drama, like maybe it’s my fault I can’t get a good, stable CNA.
So a new one arrived today. We had a tiny spat but nothing I should hold against her. I’m going to let her work here and hope for the best. I’m not going to put on her shoulders the “sins” of the other CNAs.
It’s time for a hot cup of tea. That sounds so healing right now.