I’ve processed this out in my head a bit because when it happened it got under my skin.
Yesterday one of the CNAs said several times, the reason she didn’t work out here is because I’m “not used to working with adults” and she’s used to “working with a different clientele.” She said she doesn’t like the clientele this particular company assigns her. Even now as I write it I’m like, really, a different clientele?
When she talked down to me that way, it fed into my issues. Her words stung deeper than they should have. My head heard her say that I’m not mature and that I can only relate to children, not adults. I can’t hold an adult relationship.
I just said in another entry that my own mother couldn’t hold an adult relationship if tried.
So the question I asked myself is this, can I hold adult relationships? Yes. I can and do. I had to counter the inner message that I’m broken, a broken child. To do so, I began to list my relationships.
I hold healthy and simi-healthy adult relationships. I have many friends that I see on a regular basis. I’m closer with some than others. I have a range of friendships from close inner circle to casual friends. I have friends from the internet as well as acquaintances from the internet, all adult relationships. So the answer is yes.
The CNA may not have even meant that I can’t hold adult relationships. But talking down to me triggered my issues, issues my brain struggled to untangle.
When stuff like this comes up, I can either swallow it down or process it and move forward. I choose to move forward.