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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Stop that! And the fluffy, purple robe.

I reluctantly write this entry. Well, the CNA situation did end just days after I wrote that we had 2 good weeks. There was a lot of difficulty with attendance and an entitled attitude that truly got under my skin. However, when she quit a few weeks back, I allowed her to stay with the […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Expectations

It occurred to me the other day that I expected to be healthier than this and more functional. I don’t know why I expected it but I did. It never occurred to me, even while in the hospital under those circumstances, that I’d lay here like *this,* feeling like *this*. What on earth was I […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Foot update: Surgery for wound care

I really needed my doctor to say it’s going to be ok, but that’s not the update I got today. I’m literally shaking. He used the word surgery. I just closed my eyes. My heart dropped. Here we go! No amputation, just an outpatient surgery to do whatever to the wound site and then close […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Struggling. Bruised but not broken.

I’m struggling a bit to keep anxiety under control. My pain levels are too high and I’ve not had much sleep. Today I saw Dr. D at his office. It was a good session yet I dissociated most of the time. It was as if I sat beside myself the entire time talking to him. […]

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Art

Site updates

(shakes head) I had some older private entries show up that shouldn’t have. I’m having some site updates and hiccups. Sorry. Bear with me, please.

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Feeling Clean. PTSD. Colors.

I have a hard time believing, after all these years, that I still don’t feel clean. It’s been so long but I still try to wash off yesterday in the shower. I still need to get all the past off my body where it lays decaying me. After all these years, I just can’t fully […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

My weighted blanket test

For two weeks I’m going to use the 12 pound weighted blanket every evening. I’d like to know if my phantom limb pain is reduced, if general Lupus pain is reduced and if nightmares will be reduced. I feel as if I’m asking for a miracle of the blanket but hey, people say they work […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On getting a new caregiver (CNA). Wound.

I sure know how to go through CNA’s. I suppose this happens often in this field. They’ve got a lot of turn over. My current CNA put in her 2 weeks notice last week so next week with her is it. This is the 3rd time in 6 months that she’s gotten angry with her […]

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The People Behind My Eyes

Snails – My Slimy Friends

I discovered a few things I needed to change to improve the lives of my slimy little friends. šŸ˜Š First, I increased the humidity level in their habitat. Once I increased humidity I saw an increase in activity by all individuals. This made me quite happy. Everybody is crawling around, doing their thing. I also […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

More foot stuff. CNA stuff, too.

Well, I saw the Podiatrist today. He said things will patch up nicely. I wondered what that meant, then he pulled out a razor and tweezers and started to cut open the wound. He squeezed a bit, muttered a few things and said, looks like the infection has healed, you’re just left with the wound. […]