It’s 9:25pm on Saturday. I’ve got to get up to go to services tomorrow, however, my brain has kicked on with the aide gone and the lights out. It seems I’ve got a little more to worry about. I thought I had 10 shots put back but I’ve only got four.

Right now I’m doing my best not to borrow any trouble. I’ll take the shots as I’m supposed to and try to see if I can go in to the Oncology Department for shots like I did a year and a half ago when my insurance denied me. There really isn’t anything else to do.

In my head I think about how bad this could get but I have to stop myself. I want the doctor to remember how bad it was and for him to impart that to the insurance company but I don’t need to revisit that time. It’s enough to say I’m afraid of this and that when life boils down to a single medication the fear can be amazing. Only I can’t let it drown me because nothing bad has happened to me. This could be resolved and things could go on as my normal. That’s what I need to happen.

Day time is much easier because of the distractions but night time is still and empty. I think I’ll play soft music as I sleep.


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