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Anxiety Life is like a box of Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

COVID-19 Shock

I don’t know if I should cry or fall to my knees and pray. Wow. Ok so, my Saturday CNA is being tested for COVID-19 during which time I was instructed to quarantine alone. No care. No CNAs. No nurses. Just me. This should be interesting.

There’s a lot going through my head right now. (smh) This can’t be true. She’s probably negative. There’s probably nothing to worry about. Followed by, OMG she just had to go get her hair done during a pandemic! Argh. Then of course my heart goes out to her because she’s a good person, a single mom, a hard worker. I don’t want her to be sick.

Well. I don’t think I have any symptoms at all. My fever and shortness of breath are constant and related to the Lupus and blood clot damage to the lungs. I couldn’t breathe way before the pandemic. Other than those two things I have no coronavirus symptoms. I feel normal for me, which is under the weather with a touch of snark.

As of this writing, I got a second phone call from the nursing company saying that they are working on arrangements for me. At first they said they’re pulling care but now they said they’re making some sort of in home arrangements for care. This is good because I was thinking, what happens if I have an accident? What do I do for food when the peanut butter and lunch meat run out? Being alone really worried me. I won’t know details of the care plan until tomorrow.

So now I will sit and wait for the test results to come back. I’m not going to worry about the test just nursing care.

One last thing – stigma. Something that went through my head was how others might react if they discovered I have to quarantine. Will people shy away or even shun me out of fear? Is only being under quarantine enough to stoke fears and cause people to run for the hills? Then I thought, probably not. Maybe there was heavy stigma and blame early on, but hopefully not still.

Faith

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