I felt guilt and shame before I was armed with knowledge concerning menopausal cravings for sugar and estrogen related weight gain.
I thought I had some sort of eating disorder. I thought I somehow ate myself to this size, but how? I mean, yes, I was putting away a lot of sweet foods but not enough for such rapid weight gain. It made no sense, until now.
The sugar craving are so strong that I make sure I’ve got enough junk food in the house that I don’t run out. There’s a real concern that if I run out, the craving will over take me.
Fear of running out of junk food. That fear is real and worrisome. There’s something wrong with you if you fear running out of junk food, right? Well, it appears this strong reaction is to decreased levels of estrogen and progesterone.
Knowing this helps. It helps because it feels like I have been given permission to throw off the weight of guilt. There’s a reason my eating is out of control and it’s legitimate.
I’ve also been fighting with hot flashes something fierce! A few days ago I had to change my shirt 3x in one day. It was horrible.
Over my bed I’ve got what I call my menopause fan. It blows arctic air my way! I love that fan bc it clips to the foot board and blows directly on me.
Sleep is also impacted by menopause and perimenopause. There are nights when I wake every 2 hours for no reason understood by me, until now. It was frustrating. Being in therapy, I immediately began to ask myself questions about emotional well-being. I couldn’t see any changes to my habits or nor did I have any new issues that would affect sleep. Nothing was different. I was stumped, until now. Again, knowledge is power. I understand what’s going on.
I do have a much better understanding of this time in my life. I don’t have a lot of answers but at least I understand part of what’s happening. I also have friends I can talk to who guide me through this in an understanding way.
I used to wish I could talk to my sister, who recently turned 50. I used to wish we could go through this life change together as sisters. I no longer hold on to that magical thinking. However, I have close friends who are like sisters to me that I confide in and talk to about these things. So while my biological sister is not here because of her issues, I have several sisters of choice who care and share this life change with me. Love and friendship are powerful forces, strong enough and very willing to walk me through all life challenges and changes.