I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried.
Right now I feel like crap. I want to sleep but can’t. I’m a bit nervous. Because I know this process is going to be triggering, I’m gathering all my coping skills, writing them down and posting them where I can see them. This will help me keep grounded in 2020.
Today I talked to the doctor who will do my ultrasound. She asked if there’s anything I need to make this easier. I told her I’m going to cry through the entire thing but that I can do the exam and whatever needs to be done. I’ll do it tearful, but I can do this.
I am still waiting on a new aide company but I found out from my CICOA person that my CNA can no longer drive me to the doctor. Medicaid now requires all of us to use a very unreliable cab company to transport to the doctor, which is why a friend is taking me. So I have no more easier transportation to the doctor with a CNA. That’s over.
Seeing Dr. D is nearly over as well! I am not able to get down my hallway which is 750 feet to the door. Then there’s a long wheelchair ramp to walk down to get to the street. No stairs. Yes, I could use my wheelchair for all that, however, Dr D’s office isn’t handicapped accessible which means there’s no way to get in his building in a wheelchair. There are numerous steps to go up and no way to store my chair as I do my session. I can’t get out of my apartment building on foot and I can’t get in his office building on wheels. When CNAs took me, I could wheel out of my place, leave my chair in the CNA’s parked car, then walk around to his office building and up the stairs to get in. The new transportation law and the owner of the office building’s unwillingness to make it accessible, means I will soon be without a therapist.
I’m certain I’ll talk to Dr D over the phone for the next few months but after that I just don’t know. I will talk to him Monday about the blood clot situation and accessibility difficulties. We’ll see what he says.
Right now I feel sick as a dog. Hot tea sounds wonderful! I’ve got a book I’m working on that I purchased 2 days ago on Etsy. It feels right to close off the rest of the world and break out the tea and book.