I don’t know what my problem is but I am weepy today. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day. Finally I dropped a few tears when I ran across a painting created a long time ago that I’d forgotten about. I looked at it and it just touched me. I don’t know.
It’s actually been a good few days. In the last three days I’ve sold 4 paintings and a few oils that I make here at home. Despite being happy about the sales I’m overwhelmed by emotion and tearful.
I know therapy was a bit difficult on Monday. We went over the dream I had about the goldfish and being told I’m the enemy of the family. We then discussed all three doctor appointments I have coming up concerning the fibroid tumor. Tomorrow I go to my Hematologist / Oncologist to discuss with him possible treatments that I can do without putting myself in harms way.
I was wondering if it’s possible for them to watch it for just a little bit and worry about removing it after the pandemic? I know I’ll have to deal with passing large blood clots and with incontinence, but those things aren’t life threatening. Cutting on me is life threatening. But is waiting and having a little bit of patience a choice I have? At this point there is increased pain in my belly as well as incontinence and blood clots. They’re disturbing, upsetting and the pain on top of other pain is exhausting….but with a little patience and constantly reminding myself that its temporary, I can manage it. I’m just very worried about the surgery. I’m also worried about doing it during a pandemic. I’ll know all these things soon enough so there’s no reason to spin in my head all the possible angles this could go.
I need a good cry and a nap.