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I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles – Our Hearts Bleed

CONTENT – Talk of assault. No details

I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke nearly every 2 hours. The stress from my CNA’s personal issues kept me awake.

Yesterday morning my regular CNA, the one I call Youngen, didn’t come to work. No call to her supervisor was made so we assumed she wasn’t returning. I was sad. Even though we have minor issues, I really like her and wanted her to stay.

The entire day went by without a word. Around 6pm she texted me and said, “something really bad happened to me.” I immediately knew what she meant. My heart sank because it’s the same “something really bad” that happened to me in August. So I was awake all night wondering if she’s ok physically and how on earth she could say she’s coming back to work the next day? What physical shape would she be in and can I handle it?

Youngen showed up today. What I didn’t know was that she had not yet called the employer to tell them why she wasn’t at work yesterday or that she was coming back today. She was embarrassed and wanted me to talk to them for her. I did. I explained the whole thing to them. They are not upset with her and will not hold the absence against her work record.

Once I did my bit of advocacy I was so emotionally drained that I had to go to sleep. What I didn’t realize was that she slept, too. I thought she was going to do her work but she slept for several hours with her head on the table while I slept on the bed.

I had nightmares and woke up screaming “no!” I was quite embarrassed.

It seems that CNAs bring their issues here all the time. This one was so close to home it hurt. I started to tell her about what happened to me but I didn’t. I just listened and did what I could to help without asking too many questions and while passing zero judgements.

It has been so incredibly hard for me to admit online what happened to me in August. It’s hard to deal with, hard to forget. And now my young, 19 year old CNA is experiencing it, too. My heart bleeds for us both.

It may seem cold but I will not attempt to be a listening ear for her. I’m not a therapist and I am in therapy myself. I’m running from the same issues. I honestly can’t be of any more assistance. Things could get mixed up really quickly if boundaries aren’t kept. They were already crossed when I spoke to her supervisor for her. That honestly is all I can do.

Faith

3 replies on “CNA Chronicles – Our Hearts Bleed”

Hugs. Maybe you can simply tell her that what she experienced is a trauma, and that therapy or a crisis shelter can help? Basically, “you need to talk to someone trained, or your mental health could decline severely. I’m worried about you. I hope you’ll seek out a crisis shelter that has safe, anonymous people who know how to help without inadvertently making it worse.”

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.