I hated to do it but I had to fire my 19 year old CNA for habitual failure to wear her mask and wash her hands.

I talked to Dr D before I fired her and explained that I was worried I’d not get care for days on end if I fired her but I’ve come to the conclusion that no help is better than bad or unsafe help. This young lady was unsafe help. She was written up once before for not wearing PPE (the mask in particular) so this is the second time she’s been written up for it. It’s not the second violation, she’s refused the mask or refused to wear it properly for weeks now.

The other issue was lack of hand washing. She either didn’t wash her hands or she didn’t wash them even close to properly. When sanitizing, she’d only do the palms because she said she has little cuts all over her hands because she’s a nail bitter and sanitizer stings her fingers. Gag.

I fired her at a critical time in her life and I feel bad about that, but I’m at a critical time in my life, too. And I have to make sure I’m safe from the virus.

I’ve been self isolating since March 8th. I’ve had CNAs disinfect at the end of each session. I’m not allowing a bunch of friends over to sit around and talk. I’m treating this like a pandemic! I’ll be dag-on if I do all this for nothing just to allow a CNA to flout the rules of health and common sense.

It took a lot from me to speak up for myself. I seem to want shy away from any conflict because there’s a personality (Michelle) who simply can’t stand anger and upset from others directed at her. She describes the anger / irritated tone as being stabbed through with a knife. A sharp, quick burst of anger cuts her so deeply that she’ll put up with a lot just to avoid upsetting the person further.

Michelle is out quite a bit while the CNAs are here. She gets really quiet but when she speaks, her voice is kind of young. No CNA has ever called me on this. It used to be that I hid her and others better but Michelle (15) and Ariel (6) now pop out routinely. Ariel is dead quiet, not saying a word. She pops out when triggered but she doesn’t stay out or speak like Michelle has.

The CNA company has zero idea that I have DID, none. I want to keep it that way. They don’t need to know. Let them focus on hiring people who wash their hands, wear a face mask and show up to work on time. My Psychologist and I will handle the rest.

Lastly, I’ve yet to do any visualization surrounding my assault. Dr D and I will do the visualization at the beginning of Monday’s session.


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One thought on “CNA Chronicles : Young CNA Fired. Dissociation.

  1. We’re glad you took care of yourselves to stay safe, even though doing so means it impacted the other person in unintended ways. It’s hard setting boundaries and we’re glad you did it. You’ve survived too much to get sick from this darn virus!

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