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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

High Anxiety

Boy, anxiety has been rough. Sleep has been rough. Pain, relentless!

I’m scheduled to see a new Nurse Practioner in July because I have been unsuccessful in managing my anxiety and sleep issues. It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve had a Psychiatrist / Nurse Practioner. Hopefully this lady will be helpful with medications.

Sleep has been crazy. I fight and kick and hit, something fierce. I have to move stuff off my night stand bc I’ll knock it all over. I have a plant, defuser and a bottle of lavender. I nearly broke the lavender because of fighting in my sleep and jerking around. Between terrible sleep and high anxiety, I don’t know what to do with myself.

I had half a day of care today. The CNA DESTROYED breakfast. I mean it was bad. I ate it but it was bad. Lol. How badly can you jack up pancakes? She found a way. Lol The bacon was raw. The egg was good though. Lol lol. Wow. I hope I don’t see her too often. She’s nice, but her cooking is terrible. Tomorrow I have someone with a rather odd name. I hope she’s nice.

CNAs are definitely a cause for anxiety. The one who talked about suicide again and again, that I just sent home, decided to quit. She quit but then sent me a text saying she’d like to keep in contact. Seriously? If you can’t control yourself AT WORK what makes me think you can outside of work? I didn’t even respond! You can’t have it both ways. She quit. I didn’t fire her. She quit and said she’s not comfortable returning yet she now wants to be friends. No thanks. Looks like someone else needs a Psychiatrist. Argh. I’m telling you! These people drive me batty.

As the pandemic goes on its easier to stress me. I’ve been in my home nearly a year, without a hug nearly a year. It’s been very difficult. While anxiety is very, very high, I have at least met one of my pandemic goals. I wanted to do something with my pandemic time that I could look back on and be proud of. I completed my biggest goal and will try to set another priority goal. I’ve completed smaller ones as well. I feel some pride in that.

I guess that’s about it for now.

Faith

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