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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Patience

Today I met the new CNA. She was here about 30 minutes for a meet and greet. We talked and giggled and went over the things I need from her. I asked something about a positive that she brings to the job and she said patience.

I’m going to call her Hoah on the blog. Pronounced like Noah only with an Ho. Her birth name means “Save, I pray.” Anyway, Hoah seems really nice. I really want this to work. I see one issue. She’s extremely large and this job is more physical than it appears. She’s going to have a long walk from the visitors parking lot to my front door. You’ve got 1/2 a block outside to inside, then 750 feet from the entrance to my front door. The laundry facility is at the front door, trash is the opposite direction. I just don’t know that she’s going to be able to handle the foot steps here, but I am very willing to let Hoah try.

The issues that have been in this house with CNAs has been ridiculous! The issues aren’t new for these companies. The stuff some employees try to pull is crazy. But this time, with this one, I’m offering special prayers. Let her be the one! Let her be the right CNA because I’m not sure I have the patience or the stamina to keep this up.

I wish I could tell them to all go away but the truth is, I’m going to deal with CNAs for a very, very (sigh) long time. That makes me a little sad. Even if I had an apartment with a washer and dryer inside the apartment and a dishwasher, I still couldn’t handle things on my own. Argh! Well. Here I am, sad about my plight when most of the time I’m popping off positives about surviving what I did. Perhaps today I’m a little warn out. I think the fighter in me is feeling some fatigue.

There’s also a part of me afraid to hope. I’ve liked CNAs before and it blew up in my face. How can she be different? I sure need her to be.

Alright, well, I’m going to listen to a book and go to sleep.

No therapy tomorrow. He’s on vacation.

Jordan

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