Last week my CNA made it here twice. My supports filled other needs.

I was so happy to see her, and relieved that she’s back. This is the start of the second week and we’re trying to get settled back into our routine.

I can’t express in words how much less stress is in the air. There’s a little bit of something in the air which I hope will be relieved soon.

I’d not chosen a blog name for her yet so the little ones suggested that we call her Daisy. šŸ˜Š

Today Daisy tested a few boundaries. I told her and the supervisor that I don’t give gas money or medication to the CNA. I’ve reiterated to Daisy that it’s not going to happen. Today she wanted money and Delta-8. It didn’t happen but she went on and on then even screamed out in pain, twice. I offered her 2 Tylenol. She took them.

Later in her shift she began to stress about gas money to get back and forth to work. She mentioned that gas prices are at $3.65 by her house. I nearly gave her money but she followed it up with, “I may not be able to come to work tomorrow or the rest of the week, not without gas money.” She talked about being able to borrow some money from a friend but she needed gas money to go get the funds. I just kind of laughed inside because I nearly fell for the manipulation.

Caregivers have come here with all types of dramatic and traumatic reasons why they need money. They always link it to care. Often they’d say stuff like, “If I can’t come up with some gas I can’t take you grocery shopping.” Early on I used to try to pass them a few dollars but that had to stop bc they always wanted more.

Today I was silent as she went on and on about gas money, and I will remain silent. I’m not giving her any money. Do I expect to see her tomorrow? Nope, not really.

I expect her to try to manipulate again. Is it annoying? It is, but if I let go every CNA that tries to manipulate for meds or money, I’d be in big trouble.

She’s hurt that I fired her, twice. I think she would feel better about things if I apologize but she actually deserved to get fired, twice! But I think there is an area where an apology may be appropriate and may help her hurt feelings. I’ll have to figure that out.

Yesterday she told me she loves me. I didn’t return it. She wasn’t saying she’s in love with me but that she has ‘agape’ type love for me. Still, I didn’t say it in return bc I don’t know her that well nor do I want it to ever be taken out of context. It was an uncomfortable moment but one I saw coming.

So now that we’re all uncomfortable I’ll try to remember that she’s here because she has a good heart and does good work when she’s here. I know, pretty much, how she’s going to be when she comes in. I know someone in her family has freaked out on another family member. As she tells the drama I don’t feel the weight of it. It’s just a story and I can hear it without my emotions going in over drive.

Sooo, despite the tone of the last few paragraphs, I’m actually quite relieved that she’s back.

Faith

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