I wanteded to help myself in some way. I wanted it not to matter that CNA care is hit and miss bc I was going to prove that I can take care of myself. What became clear is that I can get pain under control and keep it down, as long as I don’t try to walk. I’d been trying to walk so I can cook for myself and do basic self care but I have had high pain levels bc of it. Then today I proved once and for all that I should be in this chair. No more walking and falling.

I stood up from the bed and the next thing I know I’m down. I fell into my beautiful room divider that holds all my bamboo. That fell backwards. I kept falling forward, into the fish tank, which tipped the table and fell over on the floor. I got myself up and in the chair. I looked at the clock, Dr D was going to call in about 30 minutes so I sat in the chair hurting and waiting.

Dr D is not against kicking Daisy to the curb but he’s just as worried as I am that the next person will be just as bad. He is seriously ready for Daisy to go!

I no longer have a single fish in this house, not even one. I was in too much pain to even attempt to figure out how to get them off the kitchen floor. I couldn’t even position my chair to try to pick them up because of how everything fell. All I could do was sit there while my fish flopped on the floor.

Leroy and Snow came to fix me up. Leroy got rid of the aquarium, cleaned everything up, ran my rug cleaner and told me to keep my chin up. I was worried he was mad but he was just concerned.

At one point I was very overwhelmed. My house was torn apart and there were 2 people moving around making noise. I switched and panicked. It was the first time in forever that I’ve switched in his presence. He reassured the little one that she was ok, then she popped right back in, wanting nothing to do with outside people.

The CNA, Daisy, says she’s coming tomorrow. I’m not sure if she is or not.

The frogs are great and so is the cat.


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