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Art Artists Thoughts Life is like a box of

It’s here and I love it

I couldn’t be happier. I love the table. I got it from Amazon.com. I can roll my wheelchair right up to it and roll around the art studio getting supplies and fresh water and wine. I painted for two hours which is about what I’ve been doing for a little bit. It feels great. Pretend […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Acceptance. Art Flame

Content : Brief suicide check in. Explaining myself, memories. Acceptance. Pain. So I walked into the building and my pain level rose to a nine out of ten. From the knee down on both sides it hurt like all get out. I told Dr D that I worry I eventually won’t be able to walk […]

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Anxiety Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Experimental design Mixed Media Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

What If. Art Thoughts.

All ‘what if’ roads lead to nowhere. I got to thinking, what if I get this art table but I still don’t paint? Then of course my head took off, so I decided to sit in my wheelchair at the dinner table and paint a ‘what if’ road map. What if I struggle with the […]

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Anxiety Art therapy Artists Thoughts Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Table Trouble

Dr D and I again discussed my inability to paint. It pains me that I feel incapable of it. I still don’t trust the same though I’m getting better. But I also realized that I don’t have the same amount of alone time I once had before everything fell apart. I needed alone time to […]

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Abuse African-American Rag Doll Art therapy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Live free. Young Self.

We talked about figuring out how to live with instability, with the unknown. I’m not a very flexible person. I’m not spontaneous, don’t like to have someone jump out and surprise me. But my health is one big unstable lion that is silent for awhile but waiting for the moment to roar. We talked about […]

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Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Faces Multiple Personality Disorder Originals PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Risk. Be More

Dr. D and I discussed the possibility of me painting almost daily at set times. This would allow me to know ahead of time what to expect. I need set times for things as well as lists to feel more control over my environment and situation. Setting a specific time to paint and doing it […]

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Artists Thoughts Lupus Major Depression PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Security Shaken

I left something behind in the hospital. Under pain and pressure my mind split and broke, but it’s much more than that. I’ve been shaken to the core. I feel like I should apologize for still talking about the affects of the hospitalization, like I should be over this. Anyway, what Dr. D and I […]

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Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Expressionsim Ink Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Black and White

Finding artwork created by alter personalities used to happen quite a bit. I thought it was strictly a thing of the past but I guess I was wrong. It would seem that I still find art I don’t know a thing about. I was quite shocked to see the piece called My Sister in the […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art Artists Thoughts PTSD

Anxiety and Fight or Flight

I understand that my biological response to many things is still as if my body is fighting like when I was abused or when I was having medical trauma from a young age. My adrenal system fights so hard, as if it has to, still. All that adrenaline causes anxiety because I’m still trying to […]

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Anxiety Art Artists Thoughts PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

I’m Not Crazy Yet

It’s been one of those days where all I’ve done is sleep and paint. I got in a good meal, sat down at the table with candle light and everything, yet my heart is desperate and forlorn. I want to cut. I wont but the desire is there to shred my arms up. When I […]