The surgeon wants to do the ablation without stopping the blood thinner Arixtra aka Fondaparinux. My Hematologist laughed out loud and said, “No!” This is a rather strong blood thinner and the possibility of bleeding is way too high. My Hematologist says I should not ever have surgery without it going through his office first […]
Stress and anxiety have taken over the last two weeks. I stopped eating and took in fewer fluids than normal. I was exhausted. I could hardly breathe but my oxygen levels were very good so that made no sense. My chest was tight. I was faint, weak and had low blood pressure. They thought I […]
I’ll be getting tested for the first time ever tomorrow. I’m nervous but I’m also very, very exhausted. I can’t breathe very well. My lungs are burning. I can’t wheel myself about. My words have been slurred. I’m hungry but I’m too dag on tired to eat. My blood pressure has been so low that it’s […]
Content: A very emotional writing. Trauma, current as well as PTSD. Today during my therapy session Dr. D and I discussed something traumatic that took place August 6th of this year. We’ve talked about it a lot and have processed how I feel as well as how others inside feel. However, this conversation took place […]
The pandemic has changed me. The long isolation time has made me clingy and more emotionally dependent on my caregivers. Today I wasn’t going to have a caregiver but my CNA came anyway, despite having a tooth pulled. I couldn’t believe she came. She said she wanted to make sure I had something to eat. […]
I went to see the General Practioner today. I thought it would be a long appointment but it wasn’t. I was happy about that. When I saw him, I got a lot of reassurance that the surgery will be just fine and that I’ll not have any bleeding issues as a result of the surgery. […]
Last week I made a statement in therapy that I had to reexamine. I said that all I know is pain. I’ve had Lupus since I was a child and I had my mother to deal with. Now I’ve got Lupus, other health issues and mental health issues, all very painful to live with. Maybe […]
I told Dr D about my Nebula projector. He asked if I am feeling older and question my place in the universe. I certainly didn’t connect the two but he did. He mentioned that I turned 49 late August and that people in midlife begin to ask deeper questions about life and seek out stars […]
I’ve been struggling emotionally since the GYN appointment. It was a bit much for me. Sleep has been rough and anxiety has been really high. I’m kind of struggling a bit. We talked about continuing deep breathing and lavender for anxiety relief. We also talked about the anxiety that comes with this CNA just up […]
Part of me wants to laugh because of how absurd this is, but the other part of me is sad with a broken heart. My CNA quit this morning! She didn’t quit the company, she quit me because I sent a text saying that she needs to have transportation by the end of the month […]