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Anxiety Life is like a box of Major Depression PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The issue. The response. The resolution.

I’ve got an issue, a response and a resolution. I had a decision to make. I made the decision. I explained my thoughts to all 3 people. Two agreed, one didn’t. My response to the third person was an internal one. Typical of me, my head started swarming with anger until finally I was like… […]

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Anxiety Life is like a box of Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

Weapons for Depression. Dolphin Sexual Assault.

I’m still struggling with the depression but I’m actively fighting it now. I’m emotional. I’m raw and my fuse can be very short. It gets old apologizing for it, but I will because when the problem is me, it’s me. I’m emotional, sometimes impulsive, opinionated and currently menopausal making me an even greater emotional mess. I feel […]

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Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Shattered Windshield

Dr. D and I talked about how I have a general practitioner who kind of reminds me of my sister. He acts like he doesn’t even want to be in the room. The last time I saw him I was there about 5 min. When I came out Momma (Betty) stood up and said, “What’s […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Please Don’t Touch Me

For awhile now I’ve considered wearing a sign on my upper body vest that requests that people please not touch me. I’ve worn the vest for maybe a year now and I’m comfortable doing so.  Some people look at me like I’m a terrorist, others are bold enough to ask why I’m wearing the vest. […]

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Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Grocery Store as a Multiple. The Marriage Date.

I had a list. I stuck to the list. She suggested a stop at the bank which was not part of the original plan. The teller, a woman I know, asked a question about the Bible. I tried to explain and said I’d return with a better answer. When I got back in the car […]

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Abstract Art Acrylic on Paper Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paintings Paper The People Behind My Eyes

DID. Anxiety. Art.

I was thinking about how many doctors have told me my body is resistant to treatment. Hearing that in my head made me think, well, if that’s the case then I’d better get to moving along before this treatment is rejected. At this time I’m able to leave the house. This treatment allows me to […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

What’s wrong with me? An inner conversation.

What’s wrong with you? I’m angry. Yup, I guessed that. I’m wearing it like a blanket that I refuse to remove. What are you wearing under the blanket? Skill. Love. Motivation. Ok, I wasn’t expecting those things. I thought you were going to say exhaustion, vulnerability, etc. If you ask me, those are the reasons I […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Mid July Trip. Kids. Sleep. Meds.

It’s confirmed.  I’ve managed to have enough to get there for three days, then return. Betty said, “You know I’m going to worry.”  Yup, I do, but, I’m going! I haven’t been able to travel since 2012. I refuse to ever ride down with mom again. Never! OMG! That woman has a PhD in nagging. […]

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Anxiety Art POETRY PTSD Self Portrait Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Everything – Fast forward

DECEMBER 27,2015. Times 32 on the multifunctional remote, flash blurred scenes for you. My eyes have processed them all, bit by bit, no translation of hue or tone lost to speed. I see. I hear. I can’t make it stop. Pulled plugs, short circuit, a hundred failed attempts to rewire. Still I hear every car […]

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Abstract Art Acrylic and Ink Anxiety Art Expressionsim I'm only human Lupus Originals Paintings Self Portrait Surreal

A Month of Strings 1

This may look familiar. I’ve had it forever. “The Tin Man”. He also reminds me of a puppet on strings and the need for freedom. From what? From the things that wrap around pnd me. I feel tangled. I feel lost, pulled in several different directions, floating above unstable ground. MY HEART IS BROKEN and […]