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Anxiety Chronic Pain Digital Art Lupus Major Depression PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

From Under Guard to Fresh Air

I feel as if my home is a beautiful prison with great ambiance, great food and excellent, choice teas. The stairs outside in the hallway are armed guards. One mistep and the guards fire at will. I sometimes manager pain better than other times. My mood makes these times different. The season makes a difference, […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Good. Better. Bestest. Other.

Bestest is a word. Good I went to the physical therapy center today. I was surprised at how open it was, that I was laying next to someone else who was being worked on. That nervousness quickly dissipated as I became familiar with my two specialists. I like both. One is male, the other female. I […]

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Abstract Art African-American Rag Doll Art Chronic Pain Life is like a box of Lupus Originals Rag Doll The People Behind My Eyes

Wheelchair Assistance

I hate doing this. I really do, however, I have a need I can’t meet. I’m in need of a wheelchair…soon. I stare at that sentence in disbelief. I need a wheelchair. Wow! I didn’t anticipate this for another 3 year or so but … ya know. Although my insurance is good about paying for […]

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Art Chronic Pain Digital Art I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Heather – Greed. Weed. Medical Cache

DISCLAIMER: This is gentle reminder to take care of yourself properly and do not read blogs such as mine for treatment suggestions. I’m not offering advice, I’m responding to a blog entry of a long time friend. Please remember to speaking with a knowledgeable person before trying supplements and herbs. You will cause more damage […]

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Chronic Pain Creative Writing I'm only human Lupus Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

The Master of My Ghosts

There’s an old, half blind dog lying on the porch. That old dog is me. . His daytime howl is common, almost a fixture in his home. He growls at shadows and charges falling, dry leaves as though they were a personal attack on himself and the dilapidated house he protects. He can hardly see. […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

The deep end. The rational mind.

I stepped right off the deep end. I hit with a belly slap to the water that left me breathless. Then I floated. I rolled, gave in and let myself float free with the current. As soon as my eyes opened this morning I knew something shifted, something is different. I’m lighter and I’m back […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Comments: Shoulder. Anger.

We talked about health stuff which is part of the reason I’m angry. I herniation in C5-6, a pinched nerve in my neck and increased arthritis in my shoulder. The anger isn’t because of the news but the timing of the news. Nearly a year ago my general practitioner was told by the physical therapist he […]

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Chronic Pain Life is like a box of Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Ten

Random…. WordPress sent me an anniversary alert to congratulate me for being with them for 10 years. It’s been longer than that because I had sundrip.wordpress. I started on AOL then tried yahoo briefly. I moved to Blogger then WordPress before finally getting my own site using WordPress stuff. It’s been a very long time […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Reassurance. Normality. Lonely

Walk with Me 8:05 am I didn’t make it in to see Dr D because I wasn’t physically able to travel. I asked him if he’s getting frustrated or worried that things aren’t the way they were. For years I saw him twice a week in his office. I now make it in once or […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On Everything and Nothing

I had a dream you were real. I saw you standing beside the dresser. You kept that spot. Your tears were as razors sliding slowly down my spine. To my amazement, you  cried for me. I was too heavy with sleep and admittedly afraid to look you in the eye. I know that dress. I […]