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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

DID Inside, a short film

Other than the fact that the character in the film killed someone, this is the closest visual I’ve seen of the disorder Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder. Several years ago I brought this in to my therapist to see. He felt also that it’s very, very close to the disorder. Look at how each […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

F-bomb and Cookies

This is an entry that has me giggling before I even get it started. It appears that a person desires limiting her use of the F-bomb. Let me tell you this, not five years ago I used the f-bomb like a comma. If I was angry it was even worse. It would go something to this […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Cats Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Dogs, cats, frogs. Working with what I’ve got.

There are two people in my medical team who feel I’d do better with a small dog as a service animal. For several months this has been on my mind. Weighing my options, assessing my needs and considering my financial situation, I’ve decided against getting a dog. I’m a dog person. I love their noses […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

RSD: Symptoms. Support. Survival.

I went to bed around 7am Tuesday morning and woke at 12 noon to meet with Betty. I took a quick lavender shower and was out the door. She was tired, I was tired but we got our stuff done and came home. Within min of walking in the door my body started this horrible […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Taste. Depression. Anger. Intensity.

Taste. My taste changes quite often. Right now I can’t stand the taste of ice cream, at all. Before that it was peppermint. I suddenly couldn’t stand the taste. It took about a month before I could eat it again. It’s going on 2 months since my taste for ice cream has changed. It’s crazy. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

@TheReal 2016

I don’t celebrate New Year’s Eve or day, but many do and want to write about positive beginnings, letting go and making peace. That’s fine. I take no issue with entries about goals and adjusting to change; but you mustn’t expect that here. 2016 was horrific. I’ve not seen so much destruction of land, property […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Abuse Anxiety Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

still floating

I  and another person supporting the family with a recent tragedy have found ourselves overwhelmed with physical symptoms.  We are the only 2 with Lupus, the other 2 are relatively healthy. Just like them, we kept going and going. I could feel my body’s need to stop but I didn’t entirely listen. Right now my […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A young child with Lupus died. Processing.

Subject matter: death of a little boy. The left shoulder going all the way to the toe on my left side spasmed for hours. The pain was so intense I honestly thought I wasn’t going to make it through. Four friends assisted me through it. It’s a strange feeling to think to yourself, I’m drying, but the pain […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Uncertainty brings anxiety

I’m restless…anxious. Sometimes when I get this way it feels like I need to put something inside me to calm down. I feel like I need to scribble on paper while pacing the floors with the a movie playing and the radio on at the same time. I need to rip my stomach out. I […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Falling with the temperature

I went to the doc today. The new diagnosis means I’m listened to, strange feeling. I’m going to say the same thing I’ve been saying and I mean it just s much as the first time I said it. I hurt. From head to toe, I hurt. I do not want to roll over and […]