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Abuse Dreams Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The unwelcome child

I just woke from screaming “No!” in the dream where I wasn’t being attacked or physically abused. In the dream I was staying with friends in their home. My mother was staying there, too. The only thing I got to keep of my things after the move were dolls, the clothes on my back and […]

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Anxiety Art Art therapy Dreams PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety. Art. Gratitude.

I’m still screaming and fighting in my sleep about things that happened two and a half decades ago. It makes me wonder if I will ever have peaceful sleep. I feel like I have a measure of peace in my waking hours but sleep is haunted, vicious. Today my anxiety took a turn for the […]

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Abuse Anxiety Dreams Lupus PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dreams

Content – Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. My dreams have ranged from strange to emotional to terrifying. Last night I had a dream I lost my identity but was assisted by a stranger to get it back. When I was handed papers that confirmed what I was saying all along, I am in fact Faith Austin, […]

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Abuse Dreams Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Dreams. Hallucinations.

Content – Extreme physical abuse, siblings abused, emotional abuse We talked about the dream I had where my mother beat my sister without mercy. It was brutal. She did so in a separate room from me, my cousin and 2 aunts. It was so bad and went on so long that I risked myself by […]

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Anxiety Dreams I'm only human Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety and Self Harm

I’ve been struggling so much with anxiety associated with flashbacks and memories. Lately my dreams have been horrible. Everything from rape to my sister being stabbed violently over and over again. There have been medical flashbacks, too, where I wake and think I’m in the hospital still. Last Wednesday there was self harm, which my […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused

Dreams: Burying Fantasies

Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death. The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a ‘bitch’ so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that […]

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Art therapy Children Digital Art Dreams PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Love Me

In my therapy session today we talked about the dream I had just before he called. In the dream I was 47 but in the 2nd grade. I sat as an adult in South Korea with second grade children in class. The teacher taught evolution but one student spoke up to the teacher and class […]

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Art Chronic Pain Dreams Lupus The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

DREAM : The Mouth of Lions

A man kept a house with several women tied up with chains. Some he broke so that they didn’t try to run. He kept a lion that he fed live humans. It was the largest beast I’d ever seen. I and another woman were caught as prey. We were in a container waiting to be […]

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Dreams I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Emergency Self Soothing

This morning’s nightmares are the straw that could break the camels back as I struggle with the emotional side of health and pain levels. In order to keep walking the line I need to take a moment to breathe. I feel a bit angry. I woke up angry from dreams and memories that disgust me. […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Snoring. Dreaming of Flashbacks. Losing Mary Jane.

There’s something about having another living thing making noise that helps me feel less alone. Skip to 20 seconds for the start. His big performance is at 55 seconds. This is what Clyde does while doing his service dog duties of laying on my legs to help with the pain. He falls asleep and snores. […]