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Art Chronic Pain Digital Art I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Heather – Greed. Weed. Medical Cache

DISCLAIMER: This is gentle reminder to take care of yourself properly and do not read blogs such as mine for treatment suggestions. I’m not offering advice, I’m responding to a blog entry of a long time friend. Please remember to speaking with a knowledgeable person before trying supplements and herbs. You will cause more damage […]

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Chronic Pain Creative Writing I'm only human Lupus Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

The Master of My Ghosts

There’s an old, half blind dog lying on the porch. That old dog is me. . His daytime howl is common, almost a fixture in his home. He growls at shadows and charges falling, dry leaves as though they were a personal attack on himself and the dilapidated house he protects. He can hardly see. […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

The deep end. The rational mind.

I stepped right off the deep end. I hit with a belly slap to the water that left me breathless. Then I floated. I rolled, gave in and let myself float free with the current. As soon as my eyes opened this morning I knew something shifted, something is different. I’m lighter and I’m back […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Comments: Shoulder. Anger.

We talked about health stuff which is part of the reason I’m angry. I herniation in C5-6, a pinched nerve in my neck and increased arthritis in my shoulder. The anger isn’t because of the news but the timing of the news. Nearly a year ago my general practitioner was told by the physical therapist he […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Reassurance. Normality. Lonely

Walk with Me 8:05 am I didn’t make it in to see Dr D because I wasn’t physically able to travel. I asked him if he’s getting frustrated or worried that things aren’t the way they were. For years I saw him twice a week in his office. I now make it in once or […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Closing the Gap Between Emotions and Reality

The task was put to me to take a photo of myself monthly. By doing so I could see what I really look like as opposed to how I think I look. I feel like a slob. I feel disgusting and embarrassed to be seen. I feel ugly. Any compliment goes in one ear and […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Life is like a box of Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

My Stuff and Your Stuff

I’m pleased to say I had an uneventful shopping trip. This is the 3rd time I’ve used my little clay button that asks people not to touch me. People do that here so much. They will touch you in a minute. I’ve had one cashier ask what’s wrong with me. I just said, I have […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes

The Perfect Storm – Medical Care and Mental Health

I have issues with idiots. As a matter of fact, I’m allergic to stupid people. They make me itch. I cannot stand stupid people, especially when they’re dripping with it. That GP who was nice one time in a year and a half has gone right back to dripping stupid all over the place! An […]

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I'm only human Lupus

Thoughts – Updated

My ears are ringing as though a thousand cicadas cling to my brain. The only other time cicadas were deafening was during the night in Tyler, Texas. I’m worried about how often my pain is out of control. I know this body is resistant to treatment. I hoped for longer with this treatment. updated:I hope […]

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Abuse Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Every Breath

Written 2/19/16 Right now I’m rather tired, it’s been a very long day. My uvula swelled, got long and began choking me. It’s funny, I had harsh thoughts about my mother’s COPD but today I was the one who could not breath. My throat and uvula swelled twice, and twice I was rather alarmed when […]