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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

The deep end. The rational mind.

I stepped right off the deep end. I hit with a belly slap to the water that left me breathless. Then I floated. I rolled, gave in and let myself float free with the current. As soon as my eyes opened this morning I knew something shifted, something is different. I’m lighter and I’m back […]

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Life is like a box of Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Care events and the girl in the open back gown

Monday was the therapy event. Tuesday I went to special evening services. Today, Wednesday was the hospital event followed by picking up a few things at the grocery store. Every Wednesday of this month I’ll be at the hospital that actually shows concern and where I feel relaxed, as much as one can be under […]

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Art Art therapy Lupus Originals Paintings Sketchbook diary

Sundrip – art to come

Here’s the wall of work I wish to complete in a reasonable amount of time. I’ve had to pick and choose which pieces I feel I can focus on. There’s one painting of three girls that’s a priority piece. The painting where the young woman is waiting for me to give her a hat was created using […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Comments: Shoulder. Anger.

We talked about health stuff which is part of the reason I’m angry. I herniation in C5-6, a pinched nerve in my neck and increased arthritis in my shoulder. The anger isn’t because of the news but the timing of the news. Nearly a year ago my general practitioner was told by the physical therapist he […]

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Chronic Pain Life is like a box of Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Ten

Random…. WordPress sent me an anniversary alert to congratulate me for being with them for 10 years. It’s been longer than that because I had sundrip.wordpress. I started on AOL then tried yahoo briefly. I moved to Blogger then WordPress before finally getting my own site using WordPress stuff. It’s been a very long time […]

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Acrylic and Ink Art Children Innocence Gallery Lupus Originals Paintings Paper

Purple Ribbon. Butterfly. Heart.

The sweetest little girl sits for her portrait in her lavender dress with a big purple heart. Her long red curls flow over her shoulders and hold a large, white carnation flower. The background image is a mix of blue, yellow and white. Water drops were added for texture. Above her head flies a purple […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Reassurance. Normality. Lonely

Walk with Me 8:05 am I didn’t make it in to see Dr D because I wasn’t physically able to travel. I asked him if he’s getting frustrated or worried that things aren’t the way they were. For years I saw him twice a week in his office. I now make it in once or […]

Categories
Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On Everything and Nothing

I had a dream you were real. I saw you standing beside the dresser. You kept that spot. Your tears were as razors sliding slowly down my spine. To my amazement, you  cried for me. I was too heavy with sleep and admittedly afraid to look you in the eye. I know that dress. I […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Closing the Gap Between Emotions and Reality

The task was put to me to take a photo of myself monthly. By doing so I could see what I really look like as opposed to how I think I look. I feel like a slob. I feel disgusting and embarrassed to be seen. I feel ugly. Any compliment goes in one ear and […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Life is like a box of Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

My Stuff and Your Stuff

I’m pleased to say I had an uneventful shopping trip. This is the 3rd time I’ve used my little clay button that asks people not to touch me. People do that here so much. They will touch you in a minute. I’ve had one cashier ask what’s wrong with me. I just said, I have […]