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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On Everything and Nothing

I had a dream you were real. I saw you standing beside the dresser. You kept that spot. Your tears were as razors sliding slowly down my spine. To my amazement, you  cried for me. I was too heavy with sleep and admittedly afraid to look you in the eye. I know that dress. I […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes

The Perfect Storm – Medical Care and Mental Health

I have issues with idiots. As a matter of fact, I’m allergic to stupid people. They make me itch. I cannot stand stupid people, especially when they’re dripping with it. That GP who was nice one time in a year and a half has gone right back to dripping stupid all over the place! An […]

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Abuse Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Every Breath

Written 2/19/16 Right now I’m rather tired, it’s been a very long day. My uvula swelled, got long and began choking me. It’s funny, I had harsh thoughts about my mother’s COPD but today I was the one who could not breath. My throat and uvula swelled twice, and twice I was rather alarmed when […]

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Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Shattered Windshield

Dr. D and I talked about how I have a general practitioner who kind of reminds me of my sister. He acts like he doesn’t even want to be in the room. The last time I saw him I was there about 5 min. When I came out Momma (Betty) stood up and said, “What’s […]

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Abuse Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – No Single Emotion

my eyes are tired. my vision is poor. I’m intoxicated with anger. In today’s session, Dr D and I talked about how easily people file away labeled boxes stuffed full of the past. We do it without even thinking. Its boxed up, but the one word label can’t accurately describe just how complex life is […]

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Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Grocery Store as a Multiple. The Marriage Date.

I had a list. I stuck to the list. She suggested a stop at the bank which was not part of the original plan. The teller, a woman I know, asked a question about the Bible. I tried to explain and said I’d return with a better answer. When I got back in the car […]

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Abstract Art Acrylic on Paper Anxiety Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paintings Paper The People Behind My Eyes

DID. Anxiety. Art.

I was thinking about how many doctors have told me my body is resistant to treatment. Hearing that in my head made me think, well, if that’s the case then I’d better get to moving along before this treatment is rejected. At this time I’m able to leave the house. This treatment allows me to […]

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Anxiety Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes

Rejection and Endings

For me, no matter why a relationship ends prematurely, it still feels like a huge personal failure. I saw the pain specialist (Dr Red) for the last time today. I’ll see the new one soon. I can only shake my head at how things went with her. My general practitioner is on his way out, […]