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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A New Course

I’m in the process of changing all my care to one hospital system instead of trying to have a Family Doctor who gives referrals to one hospital and a Hematologist and surgeon at a totally different hospital. For the sake of being clear on which hospital I want to go to I’ll just call it […]

Categories
Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Perimenopause and clotting. Blood thinner realities.

Content: Very personal entry. Perhaps not for the squeamish. Talk of blood and blood clots as well as being on a blood thinner during the cycle. I’m struggling physically. I thought I was going to the hospital last night. I didn’t go because I thought to myself, I just can’t do the battery of tests […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Two Years On

May 7th will be two years with the amputation. Funny, my therapist still can’t say that word. He just says, ‘the operation.’ I think the only thing that really makes me sad is not yet being able to wear shoes. I thought I could but not yet. I purchased a pair I thought I could […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A box full of life

I know I’ll have to fight these people again but for now I’ve got a month’s worth of shots in my hands. What a relief! Five days waiting for these felt like forever. Thank you to everyone who called, text, emailed and left comments and likes of support. It’s much appreciated. ❤️ Faith

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Shots Update

I’m approved until December of this year then the fight is on again. However, they did approve it so I’ll have shots tomorrow. I only had one shot left, one! Wow what a relief! A huge, huge relief! I was so nervous. You can bet I’ll order 2 days early then put those shots back […]

Categories
Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Clearing My Head

It’s 9:25pm on Saturday. I’ve got to get up to go to services tomorrow, however, my brain has kicked on with the aide gone and the lights out. It seems I’ve got a little more to worry about. I thought I had 10 shots put back but I’ve only got four. Right now I’m doing […]

Categories
Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Insurance Fight

It came time to refill my fondaparinux shots which cost $5000 a month and that is usually covered by my insurance. The insurance company has denied payment and demands I use a cheaper blood thinner. I’m allergic to the other thinners such as Lovenox and Heparin. I bled internally and can’t take them. Here I […]

Categories
Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A Thousand Miles

I wasn’t nearly as afraid when I was in the thick of it. I knew what was stacked against me. I understood the odds were not in my favor yet I didn’t constantly think about dying. I knew I wanted to live. Once I realized I may lose as much as both legs I tried […]

Categories
Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Surviving Triggers

I was shaking from head to toe. I couldn’t think. I was naked, in the shower with a nurses aid standing beside me. A black woman was touching me! I might as well have been a child with my mother in the shower, that’s why I was shaking. It didn’t matter that the CNA was […]