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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A box full of life

I know I’ll have to fight these people again but for now I’ve got a month’s worth of shots in my hands. What a relief! Five days waiting for these felt like forever. Thank you to everyone who called, text, emailed and left comments and likes of support. It’s much appreciated. ❤️ Faith

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Shots Update

I’m approved until December of this year then the fight is on again. However, they did approve it so I’ll have shots tomorrow. I only had one shot left, one! Wow what a relief! A huge, huge relief! I was so nervous. You can bet I’ll order 2 days early then put those shots back […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Clearing My Head

It’s 9:25pm on Saturday. I’ve got to get up to go to services tomorrow, however, my brain has kicked on with the aide gone and the lights out. It seems I’ve got a little more to worry about. I thought I had 10 shots put back but I’ve only got four. Right now I’m doing […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Insurance Fight

It came time to refill my fondaparinux shots which cost $5000 a month and that is usually covered by my insurance. The insurance company has denied payment and demands I use a cheaper blood thinner. I’m allergic to the other thinners such as Lovenox and Heparin. I bled internally and can’t take them. Here I […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A Thousand Miles

I wasn’t nearly as afraid when I was in the thick of it. I knew what was stacked against me. I understood the odds were not in my favor yet I didn’t constantly think about dying. I knew I wanted to live. Once I realized I may lose as much as both legs I tried […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Surviving Triggers

I was shaking from head to toe. I couldn’t think. I was naked, in the shower with a nurses aid standing beside me. A black woman was touching me! I might as well have been a child with my mother in the shower, that’s why I was shaking. It didn’t matter that the CNA was […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Try

I’m going to be in the hospital for a few days. Despite being on blood thinners my body has still created a blood clot behind my knee. There’s an abnormality in the left lung but I’m not sure what that means, if anything at all. When the doctor gave me all the information and options, […]

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Lupus Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

For Granted

I take life for granted until I go head first into a moment that tangles with sobriety. My eyes are wide open to how fragile people are and how they too live life blinded, until they absolutely have to see. I’ve got another blood clot situation. My fear is that it’ll threaten the left leg. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Disabled Days

I stood twice then transfered to the toilet on my own. I needed help with getting back in the chair and getting my brief on. I transfered to bed on my own, exhausted, discouraged a bit. But it’s early, right? It was only the 7th that I had surgery. The CNA asked me if I […]