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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Foot Stuff. Good Stuff.

Three times last week I saw the doctor about my right foot because of the infection. She took a small biopsy to see exactly what type of infection is giving me the blues. I should know Wednesday when I return to her office. I’m still handling it ok emotionally, I think. I hate, hate, hate […]

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Anxiety Art therapy Faces Mixed Media Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Michelle. Anxiety. CNA Drama.

Content: Anxiety. No self harm. Fill in CNA’s friend committed suicide. Regular CNA troubles. The day has been mostly good but with a lot of anxiety. We seemed to manage it better though. There was an instance when we wanted to cut but Michelle said rather quietly, “May I have some lavender?” We promptly put […]

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Art Expressionsim Life is like a box of Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes Women of Strength

A Mother’s Knowledge – The Menopause Talk

If ever I needed to hear a mother’s wise voice it’s now. For many women, we don’t have the option of calling mom to ask midlife questions. We end up spinning out here, losing our minds, not understanding that there’s a logical explanation for what’s going on. I have laughed at older women and thought […]

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I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

THERAPY REVIEW: Confidence. Being Heard. Suicide. Perimenopause.

Dr. D and I discussed the paragraph in my entry where I said I feel as though he drops the ball when the issue of suicide comes up. When I first went in to therapy I was nervous. I didn’t want to be there at all because I knew I was going to talk to […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

Depression. Suicide. Medication. Perimenopause.

The medical doctor suggested that Gabapentin withdrawal, not Lyrica is the culprit and that perimenopause is also playing a part in this emotional and medical crisis. She made some suggestions to improve the terrible mood swings such as Dong quai and Black cohosh. When asked why I didn’t lower the dose of Lyrica when it […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

Lyrica – Against Medical Advice

The symptoms are quite intense. Nightmares, anxiety and deep despair are a lessor evil than pain so I went against medical advice and didn’t reduce the amount of Lyrica I’m taking. My first thought is to type, “I know its risky, but you don’t understand,” however many do. Many get that its difficult to make […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Abuse Chronic Pain I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Neurology appointment. I’m not a soldier.

He said I’m just a ball of pain and that I need to stop blowing steam at him. I stopped, looked at him and said, Did you just tell me to stop telling you I’m in pain. He said, yes, because its nonsense. Then he said, “I’m just telling it like it is. I shoot […]

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Anxiety Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

I Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me

I’ve done what I’m supposed to do, that should feel good. I don’t feel good. I’m still creating. Some get finished, other’s lack substance and I lose interest. Today I made a third doll for donations (pics eventually) and a hat for myself. Right in the middle of studying I had a full blown panic […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Zanaflex – Why I’m on it

I complained about Zanaflex saying I can’t stay awake and that I can’t tolerate this stuff, but I was violently reminded why this medication is part of my regimen. There is no justifiable reason for one’s body doing this stuff, for spasming so hard that panic sets in. Again, I looked around for someplace to […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Medications. GP Impression. Decompression.

She nixed the Gabapentin and Cyclobenzaprine which no longer work for me and exchanged them for Lyrica and Zanaflex. I’m already on Cymbalta with Abilify. This is a combination I’ve not had before, one I really need to give some relief. I’d take a level pain 7 with no questions asked. If they could just […]