Categories
I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

THERAPY REVIEW: Confidence. Being Heard. Suicide. Perimenopause.

Dr. D and I discussed the paragraph in my entry where I said I feel as though he drops the ball when the issue of suicide comes up. When I first went in to therapy I was nervous. I didn’t want to be there at all because I knew I was going to talk to […]

Categories
I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Guilt for suicidal feelings

I’m going to turn comments off for this entry I want to say I’m sorry for writing so much about feeling suicidal. I feel like I of all people should never feel this way, not after losing my brother to suicide, not after being so angry with my sister for feeling this way. I feel […]

Categories
(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

Depression. Suicide. Medication. Perimenopause.

The medical doctor suggested that Gabapentin withdrawal, not Lyrica is the culprit and that perimenopause is also playing a part in this emotional and medical crisis. She made some suggestions to improve the terrible mood swings such as Dong quai and Black cohosh. When asked why I didn’t lower the dose of Lyrica when it […]

Categories
Acrylic on Paper Art Artists Thoughts Experimental design Expressionsim Originals Paintings The People Behind My Eyes

The Unexpected Violin

It was to be a little girl in a red dress but it didn’t quite turn out that way. I realized early on that I am attached emotionally to this painting and that I wish to keep it for myself. Knowing I’m color sensitive, I changed the bright colors to those I can hang on […]

Categories
Acrylic on Paper Art Children I'm only human Originals PTSD

The Child’s Face. Depression Rising.

I told Dr. D I feel creatively constipated, and I do. I’m struggling with this painting. Her dress isn’t finished. It’ll eventually be a little girl in a red dress 

Categories
I'm only human PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Spinning. Saying My Peace.

Content: Suicide, strong emotion. This entry may not be considered politically correct. Comments and likes are off. I slept well and hoped to have a better day but my head is still spinning, this time with anger. As much as I don’t want to see things go in the direction, they’re going, I can’t do […]

Categories
PTSD Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Out of prison, into the world

Content : Suicide, abuse, held captive Comments and likes are off. I have to remember the bigger picture. I can’t get distracted or tangled in the limbs of one tree and forget the forest. I’m going to scream. I’m going to drown. I’m going to fall. I want to say I’ll never ever become suicidal again but I […]