I don’t have a single subject or a lengthy one, just fragmented thoughts. I need contact with the outside world. I don’t necessarily have to go outside often, but I need people to come here. I fear getting coronavirus and being completely isolated with it. I wouldn’t be able to have my CNAs if I […]
Category: The People Behind My Eyes
Me smiling. I laugh more than I smile. Recently I’ve had more to smile about. I feel as if I’ve gotten my second wind. I’ve got a lot more confidence concerning the world situation and feel safe and okay at home. The world is still big but doesn’t feel so big I can’t manage stress. […]
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Mother
I see her face so clearly. Long, loose curls tossed behind her then bounce off her back. She’s gorgeous. She knows it. She likes her eyes best. She’s always doing a wide gaze and pose. It’s ridiculous. She pouts a tiny bit as her eyes beam with a message I don’t know how to read. […]
The virus has sealed my CNA staying. She thought about switching jobs and getting out of the field but unemployment rates skyrocketed which has definitely changed her plans. I’m not upset about this. I want her to stay as long as possible. For Kingdom Hall Services we are using the Zoom program to meet together […]
I go from sleepless nights to straight fatigue with an undercurrent of panic and impatience. I’ve vomited and stressed myself right into an outbreak all over my chest. I can’t get Benadryl until April 1st. Man. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment the 30th of this month. I wish I could cancel. I’ve got to calm […]
Self distancing is not as “easy” as I thought it would be. The first few days there was loneliness and anxiety. I’m not sure if it’s anxiety all from the coronavirus or if it’s anxiety because the coronavirus is on the back of the shots and insurance saga without a single second to recharge. Frankly, […]
I’m not sure what my problem is but I’ve been having panic attacks lately. Today’s panic attack included holding my chest, fast breathing and vomiting. I’m not sure what is causing it but it started over a week ago. I talked about it in therapy. I’m doing some deep breathing as well as keeping my […]
I feel like I always do, a little under the weather and a lot in pain, and that’s how I plan to keep it. I am now self distancing from the general public. I need my CNAs so they can come, but no one else can enter and I’m not leaving. I don’t even have […]
The CDC has already suggested that the elderly and people with a compromised immune system should stay home. I’m primarily homebound but I do go to the doctor and grocery store, that’s really it. I think Walmart is a breading ground for all sorts of infectious diseases, not just potentially COVID – 19 so I’m […]
I know I’ll have to fight these people again but for now I’ve got a month’s worth of shots in my hands. What a relief! Five days waiting for these felt like forever. Thank you to everyone who called, text, emailed and left comments and likes of support. It’s much appreciated. ❤️ Faith