I look just like her. I laugh like her and I hear her voice when I speak. Wow. I swore I’d never be anything like her, but here I am nearly 50 years old and I’m physically a miniature version of my mother. I’m ok with it because not everything about this woman I called […]
Category: The People Behind My Eyes
I’m concerned because there’s a reaction to the vaccine that scares me, thrombocytopenia. This concerns me because I’ve had it and nearly didn’t make it. My platelets dropped from 250 thousand to 16 thousand. The Hematologist said it was a total nightmare for him but that my bone marrow was working 3x its normal rate […]
Boy, anxiety has been rough. Sleep has been rough. Pain, relentless! I’m scheduled to see a new Nurse Practioner in July because I have been unsuccessful in managing my anxiety and sleep issues. It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve had a Psychiatrist / Nurse Practioner. Hopefully this lady will be helpful with medications. […]
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The Dump
Content: CNA casually brings up suicide and sexual assault I have written all sorts of things in this online journal over the last 20 years. My content ranges from emotional health to tea to sex to photo entries. If I felt it, I wrote it, even if it was just a few words, because it […]
Have homemade hot chocolate spiked with bourbon. Add chocolate peppermint marshmallows and whipped topping. Drink while sitting in fuzzy pink pajamas and a night bonnet. Snuggle with kitty cat. Good health to you, Faith
I fought back tears not knowing exactly how Dr D would respond. I knew he wouldn’t stop seeing me all together but I wasn’t sure if he’d cut my sessions down by half. I let Dr D know that I’m unable to return in person to see him at his office because I’m physically unable […]
I know what it feels like to be sucked in by pain, all consumed, unable to think or breathe. At that time I have a plan in place to help me through. Yes, I panic. Yes, there are tears and even anger mixed with hopelessness and helplessness. All consuming pain means just that. Even if […]
February 2nd is my Independence Day. I don’t celebrate like I used to but I still think about how important it was back in 1992 when I was forced to make the decision to leave home at 10:30 at night. I know it was a long time ago but I’m still learning how to be free. […]
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It’s Friday!
Ah yes. It’s Friday. There will be popcorn and beer, art and music. Let’s get this party started! The studio shelves are stocked with supplies. I’m ready to go. I’ve been working on a small piece for a few weeks now and I’m past ready to finish it. It’s been a week of high anxiety […]
She accurately represents how I feel often. I wish I could say that I’m okay and that life is good. I mean really, complaints should be few but in general I’m not a happy person. I named her Lola because in some languages it means Our Lady of Sorrows. It seemed so appropriate. Lola is […]