Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

The Pandemic is Changing Me

The pandemic has changed me. The long isolation time has made me clingy and more emotionally dependent on my caregivers. Today I wasn’t going to have a caregiver but my CNA came anyway, despite having a tooth pulled. I couldn’t believe she came. She said she wanted to make sure I had something to eat. […]

Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

A Little Reassurance

I went to see the General Practioner today. I thought it would be a long appointment but it wasn’t. I was happy about that. When I saw him, I got a lot of reassurance that the surgery will be just fine and that I’ll not have any bleeding issues as a result of the surgery. […]

(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Pain. Ablation. Joe

I’m quite close to chucking it all and heading to the emergency room for a shot of whatever that was they gave me the last time I was there. It’s been a week of high pain and vomiting. I hoped I’d last until it’s time for the ablation but I can’t stand it. Not only […]

Abstract Art Anxiety Art therapy Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety. What if Painting

Of course my head has been everywhere. I don’t feel good at all and the pain of this is constant. At first I thought, it’s just more pain, something I can ignore. I still think that but this is a new pain so I worry about not knowing what the pain means. Is my stomach […]

Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A New Course

I’m in the process of changing all my care to one hospital system instead of trying to have a Family Doctor who gives referrals to one hospital and a Hematologist and surgeon at a totally different hospital. For the sake of being clear on which hospital I want to go to I’ll just call it […]

I'm only human Lupus

Results. Enough. I’ll keep going.

The results showed a 2x2x2 tumor in my uterus (about the size of a lime). They want to see about non-surgical treatments but if the Oncologist / Hematologist says I can’t take it because of my blood disorder then I have to have it surgically removed. The estimated time for healing I was given was […]

Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Health Review

I’m a little angry. My hands are tied with therapy. I’m not going to go in the wheelchair then leave it outside while I go up the stairs and in the door. Transportation to his office could smooth out if I used indygo or the CICOA rides, but the problem remains – I can’t get […]

Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On seeing the doctor. Blood disorder issues.

Content: Passing more golf ball sized blood clots. Oncologist and Gynecologist appointments coming up. I went to the doctor but they were unable to examine me for various reasons. They wanted to start me on a medication that I can’t take because of the blood clots history. I called my Oncologist / Hematologist to verify […]

Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: Moving Forward

I stayed with this company for a year and a half but I should have left about 4 to 6 months ago. I really had no intention of leaving until I got a call about their inability to staff me and other clients on a regular basis. It appears there’s a lot going on, much […]