Content – Talk of suicidal feelings surrounding Chronic Relex Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD), some hopelessness, hope art and talk of anniversary dates. We talked about how hopeless it feels to walk into the ER believing it’s a source of relief only to be told that there’s a crisis out there that has nothing to do with […]
Tag: Lupus
Well then, I guess even the ER is refusing real pain therapies to people with documented Lupus and Chronic Regional Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD). I showed up at a sustained level 9 pain with my foot and leg messed up only to be given a line of crap and some Tylenol. Uh huh, Tylenol! I cried. […]
It’s been awhile since I had more than pain going on with the foot. Last night I hurt so badly I sure thought I was going to the hospital! The difficulty is that it is swollen 3x it’s normal size and is split open. It hurts more than I can say and yet the doctor […]
I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]
We talked about figuring out how to live with instability, with the unknown. I’m not a very flexible person. I’m not spontaneous, don’t like to have someone jump out and surprise me. But my health is one big unstable lion that is silent for awhile but waiting for the moment to roar. We talked about […]
My Oncologist /Hematologist is such a positive doctor. Today he again told me I’m a walking miracle and that I should not worry about the future. He said to keep taking the medications, keep my appointments and move forward. He said if it happens again we’ll deal with it. He explained what the doctors would […]
It’s still a bit difficult to reach out, but I did with a friend this evening. I told her what the surgeon’s prognosis is. I decided to risk and tell her that for an hour or so each morning I struggle with the feeling that it was pointless to wake up. It takes a good […]
Part of me just wants to curl up in bed and do nothing. I just want to get in a little ball and sleep. There’s stuff to be done but I sure don’t want to move from this spot. Tomorrow is therapy. I wish I was going in instead of talking to him on the […]
The problem with being told I’m strong is that it seems to give onlookers permission to let me be, do little, and go on as usual. I hate being told I’m strong because of all the hidden messages with it. My doctor and I had conversation where I was asked if I really wanted to […]
A friend of mine came over and brought fried chicken and a bouquet of sunflowers. It was too sweet. We sat and talked while I ate. I was hesitant to talk about health stuff because I didn’t want to depress her. It was a very nice visit though. Yesterday after I blogged, I went ahead […]