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Abuse Anxiety Dreams Lupus PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dreams

Content – Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. My dreams have ranged from strange to emotional to terrifying. Last night I had a dream I lost my identity but was assisted by a stranger to get it back. When I was handed papers that confirmed what I was saying all along, I am in fact Faith Austin, […]

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Abuse I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Good Day. My voice. Their hope.

It’s been a good day. Pain has been low and stress is near zero. It’s been good. I did a little cleaning, drank some hot chocolate and talked to friends and neighbors. I’m also feeling good about the firing of my CNA. I didn’t think the company would care nearly as much as they do. […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Give an inch

“Take your stump and lay down.” It was said so cold and cruelly by my CNA. Somehow she thought it was funny. I didn’t. The words seared my heart, blocking a way to forgiveness. There were a multitude of offenses like that which lead up to today’s firing. She had been here several months but […]

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Abuse African-American Rag Doll Art therapy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Live free. Young Self.

We talked about figuring out how to live with instability, with the unknown. I’m not a very flexible person. I’m not spontaneous, don’t like to have someone jump out and surprise me. But my health is one big unstable lion that is silent for awhile but waiting for the moment to roar. We talked about […]

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Abuse Chronic Pain Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Woes

Content : Suicide discussion. Physical updates. Flashbacks of abuse. Abuse. The nurse will be here tomorrow. I’ve fallen 3x in a week so things are a bit messy right now. I’ve been told I pushed too hard, tried to do too much. I’ll see Dr D tomorrow as well. He is concerned about what he […]

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Abuse Dreams Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Dreams. Hallucinations.

Content – Extreme physical abuse, siblings abused, emotional abuse We talked about the dream I had where my mother beat my sister without mercy. It was brutal. She did so in a separate room from me, my cousin and 2 aunts. It was so bad and went on so long that I risked myself by […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Removing Fault

I’m trying to manage in my head that this all is not my fault. It only takes someone to hint that it is and my head gets all messed up. Right now it doesn’t matter to me why I worry stuff is my fault, I’m just trying to say that it feels really bad to […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On being talked down to. Adult relationships.

I’ve processed this out in my head a bit because when it happened it got under my skin. Yesterday one of the CNAs said several times, the reason she didn’t work out here is because I’m “not used to working with adults” and she’s used to “working with a different clientele.” She said she doesn’t […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art Art therapy Expressionsim Faces Ink Originals PTSD Sketchbook diary Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Mental Illness and Demons

My neighbor has Schizophrenia. A different neighbor says it’s not a mental illness but that he has demons. She inaccurately applied Scripture, which I quickly corrected, but its still on my mind and still bothers me. She has no idea what comments like that do to a person with a mental illness. Though I corrected […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art ART GALLERY Art therapy Originals Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Finishing Work

I’ve been finishing work in my books. I set a goal this year to finish work I started but there was an interruption that put me behind. I decided after I got out of the hospital to pick up where I left off with finishing work. Here is one of the key pieces I wanted […]