It’s a difficult time right now. Stress is high enough that my body is killing me. Stress is high enough that I’ve trusted too much due to mental exhaustion. I went running from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up. I thought God sent me a…
Category: Chronic Pain
Out with the Hospital, in with the Clinic
I made all my appointments at the hospital every six months since 2018 but it was time for a change. I’m seeing the same doctor just at a clinic associated with the hospital. I’m happy I made the change. People spoke to each other in the clinic and it wasn’t…
Brief Medical Hospital Stay
I’m home from a brief medical hospital stay but in the entry I’ve lead with emotional issues. I have to admit I am emotionally excitable and I cry at the drop of a hat. Today I cried my eyes out concerning the CNA who left. I was crying because I…
Fear of Others Forgetting, Leaving, Criticizing.
To most I don’t look nearly as unhealthy as I am. Will people move on and expect me to keep up bc they think I look like I can? Will people remember how bad it was physically and emotionally and have grace for me when I get messed up during…
Life Today
My hospital bed allows me to sleep well. I can lift the head and feet which helps me rest. Joe turned 15 on the first. Come April my CNA will have been here for a full year. She treats me well. I have a CNA on Saturday too. I like…
A History of Eyes on Me
Content: Abuse. Being watched by abusers. Sadism. Publishing this art piece comes at an odd time seeing as how I just talked about store workers profiling and following me and my caregiver at the store. It’s also not concerning imaginary audience / fable but an all together different type of…
At War With Myself – Disordered Eating
Content – Disordered eating. Binge eating, no purge. Shame. Hopeless feelings. Anxiety. Inpatient for medication management. I had therapy today where it was decided that I’ll have a short set time with extra home care. I’ll be adding a 3 hr day to Saturday until the beginning of the year….
Put Up or Shut Up
Content – Domestic Violence, sexual abuse, negative family response to child abuse, emotional, CNAs You know how you listen to a person complain but they fail to change what they’re complaining about? You try to be supportive but you just end up frustrated because the person will not make a…
Freedom. Up Hill Battle.
I paid a heavy price in pain for a little bit of freedom from my wheelchair. I decided to walk about 100 feet up a ramp to my apartment. I needed to stand up at my normal 5 foot 3, and see the world from the angle I was accustom…
Bad Things Happen to Good People
It’s sobering to think that no matter what we do or don’t do, bad things happen, sometimes in rapid succession. There’s an historic example of a man who lost loved ones, employees, finances and his health in no time flat. When I think about his life before disasters struck, I…