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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

High Anxiety

Boy, anxiety has been rough. Sleep has been rough. Pain, relentless! I’m scheduled to see a new Nurse Practioner in July because I have been unsuccessful in managing my anxiety and sleep issues. It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve had a Psychiatrist / Nurse Practioner. Hopefully this lady will be helpful with medications. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

The Next Chapter of Therapy

I fought back tears not knowing exactly how Dr D would respond. I knew he wouldn’t stop seeing me all together but I wasn’t sure if he’d cut my sessions down by half. I let Dr D know that I’m unable to return in person to see him at his office because I’m physically unable […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles : Reversing Roles

I know what it feels like to be sucked in by pain, all consumed, unable to think or breathe. At that time I have a plan in place to help me through. Yes, I panic. Yes, there are tears and even anger mixed with hopelessness and helplessness. All consuming pain means just that. Even if […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

February Feelings

February 2nd is my Independence Day. I don’t celebrate like I used to but I still think about how important it was back in 1992 when I was forced to make the decision to leave home at 10:30 at night. I know it was a long time ago but I’m still learning how to be free. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Deep Breath

Wow! Anxiety has been high for over a week. It peaked today. I had to really concentrate on my breathing and slow it down. I’ve got a new diffuser because after 2 years, my Young Living diffuser went caput. The new one is also white and purple. Therapy was full of anxiety but not because […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

High Pain

I can’t stand it. I don’t even know why I’m writing it. I guess because it helps just to say or scream that it hurts. I think when I hurt this way it starts to make my heart sad. I feel it emotionally, too. I’m not sure why. The physical pain makes me hurt inside […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Wellbeing

Uterine Ablation Surgery I dropped a few tears because being wheeled back reminded me very much of going through the tough thrombectomy in 2018. The doctor asked why I was crying. He then said, you have PTSD from what you went through, don’t you? I shook my head yes. I’m a very hard stick and […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Tests and Remodeling

I spent a good long time at the hospital getting test after test. They checked my heart to see if its strong enough for surgery. In 2018 my heart could only pump down to my legs but not back up. It’s doing so much better and I’m safe for Friday’s procedure. They did heart test […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Major Depression PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety the Giant

Stress and anxiety have taken over the last two weeks. I stopped eating and took in fewer fluids than normal. I was exhausted. I could hardly breathe but my oxygen levels were very good so that made no sense. My chest was tight. I was faint, weak and had low blood pressure. They thought I […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

A Little Reassurance

I went to see the General Practioner today. I thought it would be a long appointment but it wasn’t. I was happy about that. When I saw him, I got a lot of reassurance that the surgery will be just fine and that I’ll not have any bleeding issues as a result of the surgery. […]