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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Art Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Sewing with a machine as an amputee

I sat down to hand sew dolls but my hands cramped and spasmed terribly. I thought I’d try to see if I could use my sewing machine despite half a foot amputated and despite significant nerve damage. I had my CNA bring it to the table but I didn’t try anything until after she left […]

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Abuse Art therapy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Sketchbook diary Sunflowers The People Behind My Eyes

Journal Art : Family and Lupus

I’ve concentrated more on sewing dolls and bears (yes teddy bears) than I have on painting, however, I’ve not neglected my art therapy journal. I tend to pick it up at night and doodle what I’m feeling or I paint during my therapy session. A few entries I chose to publish here are significant in […]

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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Two Years On

May 7th will be two years with the amputation. Funny, my therapist still can’t say that word. He just says, ‘the operation.’ I think the only thing that really makes me sad is not yet being able to wear shoes. I thought I could but not yet. I purchased a pair I thought I could […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Pain

I keep sewing and painting through the pain. If I stop for too long I begin to panic. I made it through the April rains into May, which I hope is a smoother, less painful ride. I’m a bit tearful and tired and hope to sleep soon because I really can’t stand this. I can […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Another Thoughts List

I don’t have a single subject or a lengthy one, just fragmented thoughts. I need contact with the outside world. I don’t necessarily have to go outside often, but I need people to come here. I fear getting coronavirus and being completely isolated with it. I wouldn’t be able to have my CNAs if I […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Pain and Fatigue

I’m flat on my back right now and have been for 2 days. My pain levels are quite high with relief coming by way of fatigue. I sleep like I’ve taken some kind of medication, though I’ve not. My neck is the main culprit with shoulders close behind. I’ve been doing stretches in my waking […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Acceptance. Art Flame

Content : Brief suicide check in. Explaining myself, memories. Acceptance. Pain. So I walked into the building and my pain level rose to a nine out of ten. From the knee down on both sides it hurt like all get out. I told Dr D that I worry I eventually won’t be able to walk […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Relaxing With Joey

This boy has been snuggly all day. I just love it, but he’s got to get off my chest soon because he weighs 11 pounds and feels quite heavy on my chest. It’s great when he’s on my legs though. That’s helpful, so is oxygen, which I’m fighting for right now. Lol One of the […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

All Flare ups End

I have to remember that all flare ups end. It feels like they won’t but it will. It takes time I feel like I don’t have to give. The pain is intense. If I put pressure on the foot it starts to burn like I dipped it in fire, but it stops burning within minutes. […]